Rottenella
by Culanaluana
Summary: Robbie Rotten wants more than anything to have Sportacus leave Lazy Town but what happens when he finally gets his wish? Robbie enjoys the quiet yet still something is missing. Meanwhile Rottenella is still confined to her box and she is very much alive. She comes to him every night in hope that he will love her but his heart belongs to someone else
1. Rottenella

**Prologue**

There was once a time I was a inanimate object. I had no voice, no means of movement, no breath and absolutely no life to speak of. I was no one. All I had were my eyes. At first i didn't even have that; Infact at first I was completely completely despondent. I was devoid of all intelligence and consciousness. I saw nothing and I heard nothing.I had no mind of my own, yet being around someone so active and alive as Robbie, somehow rubbed off on me. There was this magic he had. There was some strange energy he possessed, some peculiar and mystifying power he was not aware he had. His verve and voracity, his constant buzzing about, stirred my inner being i had no idea existed.

The moment I received my sight, I immediately began to think for myself. You may call it a miracle, you could call it magic, you could even call it impossible; All I know is I'm alive now regardless of what anyone calls it. He made it possible. I owe my existance to him. All his other creations mean nothing to me. I am alive and they are not. I am proud of the fact that i am alive. So i would like it best if all his former creations were destroyed or at least removed from his lair on a permanent basis, then there would only be me. I call all of his other contraptions he has all over his lair, relics. They are relics of his past. If only he'd just let go of these relics of his past, then he could mov e on with his life. If these relics were removed he would have only me to admire. Sure, he might not have made me with his own two hands but still he gave me life. I believe I am his greatest work. There is nothing so delicate and exquisite. as I, amongst all his collection. I do not just exude feminine nature , I am the epotime of femininity. He should be proud of me as i am proud of myself. Yet he's always been in constant pursuit of that blue elf known as Sportacus. Ever since that day he changed me back to my former size with the littlizer he has had nothing to do with me. He talks to me sometimes but not like he used to when he was a boy.

I think he just talks sometimes for the sake of talking yet still I wait for his attention. You see I've lived a sheltered llife, most of the time of which I've been left on a shelf to gather dust. Ive spent most of my existance in a box. I'm a ballerina you see and only dance when the box is open. Then you mustn't forget my key in the back. After my box has been closed and my my key has been turned, the whole world goes dark and i am no longer a joy to anyone. when the music ends and i stop my spinning altogether I feel as if the world around me has come to an end as well.I should be sad. I should be heart broken but alas i have no heart. I am childhood toy, i know this. I also know that I should belong to a little girl but nonetheless i belong to Robbie, who's tiny heart never grew up. His heart I'm sure really isn't tiny. Unfortunately his heart is not the size he would like it to be. He'd probably much prefer that didn't have one at all, for his heart has too much goodness in it. He's too soft inside, that's his problem. If he weren't so soft he'd have gotten rid of Sportacus a long time ago. Naturally I'm on his side. He is my master afterall yet still I find his child like spirit to be slightly annoying. He has the heart of a child. I suppose I should be grateful to him because if he didn't have the heart of a child he would never have kept me. Yes I should definitely be thankful that he keeps that little boy alive.

When he's alone( which is most of the time)and he's not worrying about those meddlesome children, he'll open the lid to my box and look upon me with fondness. He'd let out a sigh and smile in sad sort of way. I always thought it was because of me. I thought he was sighing because of his love for me. I imagined he had this secret devotion for me, however i figured out that that devotion was for someone else. What can one do when you're only an inch tall and you're trapped in some some box by a spring? You dream of course. It's the only thing you can do.

He wasn't torn by his passion for a girl who could never love him. He wasn't even thinking of me. He lost in his past, caught up in the web of his lost dreams. Maybe that's just my imagination as well. I am just a relic to him, I am a mere reminder of his past. I represent nothing to him but a memory to him. I am Rottenella and Robbie Rotten of Lazy Town is my master.


	2. Lazy Town Blues

The town is nearly deserted now. Many of the children that troubled Robbie so much have either gone or grown up. When I say gone i mean they left Lazy Town to pursue their adult dreams, the ones they dreamt of when they were still young. They are still young but now they are old enough to live out their real dreams by themsleves. Stephanie eventually grew up and went to train in some famous dancing school far far away just like Robbie wanted. The name of the school always escapes him. He was glad she was gone. The last he heard, she had opened her own dance studio. It was all over the news, believe me. He was relieved she was so far away.

" It's just like I predicted. She is far, far, far away from Lazy Town. Yes she's gone for good! Good riddens to her. I mean I thought she would never leave. The moment that pink pixie walked in here to Lazy Town she started spreading her smiles and her pixie dust all over the place. Then she invited that blue elf Sportaflop to town with all his flipping and jumping and sportscandy. Yuck! Then it all went downhill from there. I mean, it was like some sort of disease came over the town and it was contagious. I was fine without _her_. Lazy Town was fine without her. I was nice and lazy. So was everybody else. All was quiet and peaceful, nothing was ever noisy before she came along.

Now she can be noisy and happy someplace else far, far, far away from me and from Lazy Town. It's almost too good to be true." Robbie commented contentedly while the TV was on. Robbie closed his eyes and slid back in his chair with his hands behind his head and smiled in his contentment.

Then he heard that little uppity tune Stephanie always sung before the day was out. It was her favorite. He let out a howling moan and growled at the screen in frustration.

In a furious fashion he serached for the the remote. The remote was jammed between the the seat and the arm rest.

Once he managed to retrieve the remote he jabbed the console with great vigor.

"I hate music and I absolutely loathe dancing. I hate, yes I hate this miserable town!"

Robbie had been feeling a little down lately. Usually he was quite content with his life in Lazy Town. Lazy Town might be a miserable place now but for some people it was a place of joy, filled with magic and adventure. Now with half the town missing maybe the magic had left with them. Maybe the magic just wasn't there anymore. Maybe Robbie just was being a Drama King again.

Pixel was the first to go. Robbie expected him to be the last to leave with all his technology to tie him down. He was so easily distracted by his many gadgets and inventions; he had such promise in being lazy.

He was offered a job as a computer programmer in Iceland. Robbie had to actually get out a map to find that place.

Stephanie no doubt must have given him some considerable encouragement. Stephanie really should have been dealt with sooner but as usual Robbie was too lazy to do it. If I had been his assistant, i would have gotten rid of her immediately. Children are so impressionable and often easily persuaded. Nevertheless I'm completely powerless. The only time I've spoken to him is at night. It is at night that I become real to him. Why?Because it is the desire of his heart.

Still I am only a plastic figurine. If only I were alive, I could do wonders for my master's life. I'd never ask him to change like other girls would. I'd be more than his girl, I'd be the perfect woman for him. I'd never question him unless it was absolutely necessary. I would make sure he was the villain that comes out on top. If only there was a way I could be big again, not just for a night, not just for a day but forever.

True I wouldn't be very tall, next to him but nonetheless I would no longer be tiny in his eyes. I could prove to be useful to him again.

I am only useful to him for a few moments but these few moments of freedom have made me hunger for more.

I savored the feeling of the sun on my skin and the ability to move without restriction.

Though I didn't mean to be a nuisance to him nor did I wish to embarrass him, I found it quite delightful when he stumbled onto the floor on my account. He didn't seem too displeased with me so I regret nothing. Now don't think ill of me. I am not a evil creation. I am a mischievous creature that's all. Robbie is a mischief maker afterall, so of course I take after him in that art.

He is the king of mischief, He is the Master of Disguise.

Regardless of his reluctance to exercise he is actually quite a physically powerful individual. He dances exceptionally well, he has incredible skills as a vocalist. I believe he can do anything he puts his mind on.

He has a immense intellect despite his physical and and social awkwardness and overall bumbling behaviour. He is by no means a idiot.

He was born a genius.

He may be a villain to you but for me he is a hero. I wish he knew this is how I see him. I wish he knew how I feel for him which is a highly illogical thing for a plastic toy that's possibly been made in China should be experiencing. I shouldn't be feeling anything. I shouldn't even be experiencing anything at all. Yet here I am speaking with you.

I see him drift off to sleep again. He's been taking more naps lately; Ever since that blue elf left. Yes ever since Sportacus left in his airship a few months ago, he hasn't been the same.

He hasn't been quite as animated.

He tends to sulk on a regular basis, I know this. He is naturally a moody kind of person. Yet lately he's lost his spark, his beautiful verve and vigor. There is a certain magic that is missing in him. I can feel it. I don't understand why he is so miserable. He should be in a state of bliss right now. He should be having a party. If he wasn't such a recluse he could go out and celebrate.

It really hurts to see him this way.

I wish there was something I could do to help him.

All he needs is a good scheme to keep his mind preoccupied.

Yes, a new villainous scheme would do him good.

Afterall such a glorious mind as his should never be idle. He needs to keep that marvelous mind of his active.

If he doesn't exercise the body he might as well exercise the mind.

_Wake Up Robbie! Wake Up!_

I tried to say with every bit of my being. I think he must have heard me because I could see his eyes widen in alarm.

"What?!" he exclaimed in a booming voice. His voice cracked slightly from the effort he put into the words.

He shook his head as if to shake off the dream he had been having.

"Oh, it must have been a dream". he reasoned to himself whilst he scratched the top of his perfectly groomed head of hair. Did I forget the hair? Robbie had a great head of hair. It was jet black and marvelously styled into a old fashioned pompadour.

It was one of his best features, I say one because he has many admirable features to his person.

I'll get into them later.

"Something is missing. Did I lose something? No, no, that's not it.

Missing, missing, missing. Ah yes, the town, the town, half the town is missing, you putz! You know I never thought I'd ever, ever, ever say this but I really miss those guys. Sure they were annoying but overall they weren't so bad.I didn't like them, they didn't like me yet they were usually quite nice to me.

I hate nice! That's one of the reason we didn't get along:They were too nice. Besides I despise children. They're not even children anymore and I still despise them. What's really sick is Sportacook only stayed because of those kids. Stephanie was his favorite. She followed him around like a pink little puppy dog. She didn't just like him she wanted to be him. She wanted to be a superhero.

How pathetic! I mean, come on, who in the world in their right mind would want to be a super hero. It's not as if she had any super human powers. I wouldn't call doing the splits and high kicking all day super human.

I mean what is so special about being flexible. I think it's unnatural having your body twist in all sorts of different directions. It's sick pushing yourself and pushing yourself to stretch even further and further. It's madness! I mean what is the point? Who care!

I sure don't and I'm going keep it that way!

No, I don't care, I don't care about anybody. I don't care if they're gone and they didn't even say goodbye to me. I care _ not_ and that's exactly the way life should be.

If nobody cares for me, nobody bothers me. Since there is no Sportaflop out there on standby, I don't even have a reason to leave the house.I don't even have a house but never mind that, my point is I can just stay right here in my big fluffy chair and not move a muscle, forever!"

The last word greatly reverberated about the lair.

"No! I can't stand it! It's too quiet! Aren't there enough children out there in the world? Why can't some of them come here? What am I saying?!

Children are terrible and their noisy, nosy and they don't have an off button.

Those little brats ruined everything for me.It was because of those rotten children that kept Sportacus here for so long. I thought he'd never leave. So no I don't want any little kids running around here again. Finally for the the first time I can actually be lazy. Well it's not the first time but never mind, never mind. I'm alone and that's what matters."

He attempted to relax yet again but with little success.

Arggghh! Oh what's the point? Everytime I fall asleep that Sportacus comes flipping in with all his moves and his cheesy smiles! Yuck! How vile. How absolutely unbearable! He was beyond obnoxious. He told me he was my friend. If he was really my friend, he wouldn't have gone off again in that oversized airship of his after that Pink Pixie left. I mean he's my arch enemy. We could've never been friends.

Us, being friends, that would be ridiculous. Plus he's a hero and I'm a villain. We wouldn't have much in common. Everytime I close my eyes, I see him, I see _her_, that little pink tornado and those children keep spinning around in my head. I keep hearing their voices but when I go to check on them with my periscope, there's no one there. I think I may actually be going bonkers. All I wanted was for them to leave me alone, now they've left...for good. Yet now that they're gone I don't know what to do with myself. Ugh! I am so bored! It's not just the boredom that bothers me. It's the emptiness. For some reason I feel so empty. It doesn't matter how much cake I eat, I'm never full. I know I need something but I just don't know what it is".

You need me, Robbie You need me in your life. Yes I admit I'm a little stiff yet I assure you I will be the perfect fit for you. Just give me a chance, Robbie.

Yet again I cried out to him with all my strength. My energy must have caused the music box to tinkle out a few notes.

Those few notes that were played were enough to catch his interest and current attention.

He flipped the lid open and wound up the key and his favorite song played.

His grey blue eyes became thoughtful and innocent as a child. He smiled in appreciation of the music that my little box produced. The smile he wore was a strange smile. It was not his usual cunning smile, it was a smile of warmth and tenderness. Who was this tenderness and warmth for?

" I need her, that's what I need. She'd know what to do. She always knew all the awnsers. She was the smart one. She was the smartest kid in town.

She'd probably have nothing to do with me now. She was so good..good at- well being good. Being good isn't my style. Being nice isn't in my nature. I'm just meant to be bad. I can't expect anybody to understand that, let alone _her._

I wouldn't want her _here _anyway

I mean isn't she married by now?

Yes, she's probably married to some smoldering hunk, the kind that lifts weights and grunts alot. Yeah, she's most likely into muscle men".

He examined his bicep and flexed it slightly.

" No, I'm definitely not her type. On second thought maybe she still has a flame for me... after all all these years. No, I doubt it but one can always hope. Wait! Me? Hopeful? Hopeful isn't me. I am the opposite of hopeful. Just think about it Robbie, Think, Think, think. You wouldn't want her here even if she came. I said that already but still it's a good point. It's absolutely laughable that she would even want to come here in the first place. First of all this place is a mess. I need some sort of maid. I mean I can't be expected to do everything around here. Honestly I can only do so much. Yes, I'll hire a maid, a quiet one who doesn't ask any inconvenient questions. Any kind of question is inconvenient, if you ask me, yet I'll deal with that later. Straightening up my lair can wait, I mean why do today what you can do tomorrow. Yes, that's my motto. No one's coming anyway. How do I know this? Because no one comes to visit me ever and I like it that way."

The lair was indeed a mess The blue stone floor was practically smothered with candy wrappers and other miscellaneous rubbish that had been creatively bunched together into various sized piles.

My dear Robbie always had insatiable love for sweets yet his true passion was cake.

He ate more cake tham he ate candy of course.

Oh if only I were life size again I would get rid of this mess in a jiffy.

I'd sweep the floors, I'd dust every surface including the ceiling and I dispose of all the leftover candy wrappers and other debris on the floor. I wouldn't just stuff it all into a closet like he does. I would take each and every piece of rubbish to the trash. I could be his maid. Oh what a willing servant I could be and i would be a silent servant at that. I've lived most of my life in silence so silence doesn't bother me. Silence and solitude doesn't frighten me quite like it does with Robbie.

Robbie has way too much fear in his blood. He definitely needs some backbone. All he needs is good dose of confidence. I could get rid of all those fears..I could appeal to his ego and encourage him to be bolder.

Yes, Robbie needs a woman in his life, he needs a full time companion, someone who can take care of him and keep him company. He needs somebody that can entertain him and cheer him up when he's down. He's not getting any younger and it is time he settled down with the right girl. I can be that girl. I can be that woman. Who is this other girl he speaks of?

I hope this girl stays away from him. He's my Robbie and nobody else can have him. Robbie Rotten is all mine.


	3. Life is Complicated

You're probably wondering what happened to the rest of those meddling kids. Stingy Savage became a accountant which eventually lead to him becoming a CEO to a big Stock company. He however greatly regretted not being the first to leave Lazy Town for he always wanted to be number one. I believe that title belonged to only Robbie alone.

Stingy was a selfish little boy who was in major need of a attitude adjustment. That kid had some serious problems; of course it wasn't his fault, it was his father's doing. His father never set any boundries for him so Stingy never worked well with others especially with children his own age. The story of Stingy was simple, he had a father who was absolutely obsessed with money. He was said to be the richest man in town but I think those stories were slightly over exaggerating. Robbie was actually the richest man in town but ever

since his underground seclusion many of the members of the town gradually forgot about him and his wealthy status.

Yet back to Stingy's Father, his obsession he had with money consumed him and it made him quite unavailable to his family particularly with his son. His father was no doubt extremely guilt ridden, so to make up for his incompetence as a parent he gave Stingy more worldly possessions than he could ever need.

So Stingy developed certain airs, airs that made him believe he was better than everybody else. At one point he even believed he was a prince thanks with a little help from Robbie.

Stingy was actually quite a ordinary child, he was by no means any kind of Royalty regardless how his father treated him when he was home. Sadly his father was rarely ever home so Stingy's insecurities grew until he suffered all sorts of illusions of grandeur.

I was glad to hear of his departure and so was Robbie.

Trixie was the tricky one. I wasn't quite sure what she would grow up to be.

I imagined she'd end up in jail. Last I heard she was a warden for some world famous penitentiary.

If you're not familiar with Trixie she was the Town's practical joker.

She was the kind who'd smash windows with soccer balls and slingshot birds out of trees. She was a absolute public nuisance. I thought a life of crime was in her future. What was worse is Mayor Meanswell did nothing to correct her.

There was a rumor that she came from the foster system and that she had gone from home to home until she was finally adopted by a overly optimistic family in Lazy Town.

Her new parents didn't seem to do much to straighten her out but I think in the end she found her true purpose.

The only adult she truely ever listened to was Sportaflop. Then as you probably already know the girl sometimes known as Pinkie left last and Ziggy left with her.

Ziggy must have had a terrible crush on that pink powdered girl. He was always so attached to her. This admiration must have become something more to Ziggy. The truth is he loved her and the thought of losing the love of his life must have been unbearable for him so naturally he followed her and departed with her hand in hand. Yes they were actually holding hands when they left. I remember Robbie screaming " How Pathetic! Yuck! Get a room will you!"

Lastly Sportacus departed, giving Milford a mock salute before he climbed up the ladder to his airship.

" It has been a honor serving you, Mayor. It has been a real privilege protecting your town. I have had a lot of adventures here and I've made many memories here in Lazy Town, memories that I will never forget. Honestly it has been alot of fun living here.There has never been a dull moment. Now I believe I am needed elsewhere. The world is a big place and I'm sure there are many people ou there who are in need of a hero. If, you should ever need me I'll always be your hero.

Remember look to the skies, know that I'll always be there watching over you".

Sportacus gave his last words of encouragement to Milford before he left Lazy Town.

" Who does he think he is? God?Well I certaintly don't worship him.

Why can't somebody worship me once and awhile. I'm more handsome than he'll ever be and have plenty of charisma to spare. I have enough charm to supply two men, no three men. I mean that guy is practically a bum. If weren't for that airship up there he'd be homeless.

What's wrong with a house on the ground or one under ground?

Does he think he's more important than the rest of us?

Yes of course he has airs. He's obsessive compulsive exercise addict who looks down at everybody. Sure he acts all nice and friendly but really underneath it all he's a snob.

Yes that's his secret, the secret is out. I can see the headlines now: Sportacus a Fraud,;Sportacus a Bum on The Run; Sportacus According to Robbie. Robbie Tells All About Sportacus' flaws.

Sportacus Unmasked.

What is he running from and why? That's what I'd like to know. Oh the things I could tell the media. Oh the beautiful lies I could circulate, the delicious rumors I could spread. Just you wait Sportacus. Oh yes you can leave this town but you can never escape the hand of Robbie Rotten".

Robbie harshly laughed in his deliciously menacing sort of way.

Bessie BusyBody vigorously blew her nose into her handkerchief as she watched Sportacus head up the ladder.

Meanwhile Robbie still watched behind his periscope.

" Why cry over him! It's not as if he even lived here. Once he's gone it will be as if he never came here at all.

Well, in case you didn't know Sportaflop you are not getting any younger. So how long are you going to go on with this super hero act? I hope he retires. He will retire if he knows what's good for him. Nobody is invincible even if you are a full time super hero.

I hope he retreats to some distant and remote mountain somewhere in Tibet.

I hope he gets himself stranded on some undiscovered island where nobody will ever find him. I want to make sure he's gone forever".

Of course Sportacus sent Robbie a letter.

The letter read: Dear Robbie, I wish there was something I could leave you, something that could remind you of me while I'm gone. I just wanted to let you know and tell you personally Robbie that regardless of our differences, I've always been your friend. So I leave this token of my appreciation of our friendship. Take care of Youreself Robbie. Your health is everything. Remember if you don't have your health you have nothing, so keep yourself healthy. Dream Big, Robbie. Most importantly be true to yourself, don't try to be anybody else. You are who you are for a reason. Forever Your Friend, The Blue Elf .

There was a cute little drawing of a pointed eared face with a huge grin.

At the bottom of the envelope was Sportacus' beloved crystal.

Robbie peered down at the magic artifact as if it had once belonged to some terrifying mythical underwater creature.

"Doesn't he need he need this?!" Robbie bellowed.

He snatched up the letter roughly, crumpling up the paper slightly and on the back of the page it wrote: P.S I found to my suprise that I have a spare. This is my spare crystal. I really want you to have it. Keep it safe for me and guard it well until I return.

"Him? Return? Here?!

I sure hope not. Keep healthy! Oh please! Who does he think I am? A health nut?!

Wait dose that mean I have to give this back? Great!Some gift! That's just my luck somebody finally gives me a gift and then I can't even keep it. As soon as he comes waltzing back into town he'll be asking for it. Now I don't want it! It's not worth the trouble.Oh life is too complicated! I appreciate our friendship. Yeah Right! Why would he give it to me of all people?

Think about it Robbie. If he gave it to the Mayor he'd most likely lose it the moment he got his hands on it. Stephanie is gone along with all those other brats.So you're you're the only one left. He's not really your friend.

Robbie doesn't have any friends and Robbie doesn't make friends. He definitely dose not make friends with super heroes like Sportaflop. Friends! Who needs em!!"

Robbie made a pointed gesture towards his mouth and let out a gagging noise.

All those beautiful years of trapping Sportacus were now all over for Robbie.

His life's pursuit and his one life long pastime was finished for him. He tried to sleep the boredom away but to no avail. He resorted to cake to ease his troubles and relieve his heartache, more and more cake than ever before. Nothing seemed to improve his mood. He had this mental fog that no doubt overshadowed his very soul. This soul of his was restless and extremely discontent within him.

"I am sooo bored!" Robbie howled lamentably.

'Okay, okay, okay I admit I wanted the man gone. I wanted more than anything to have everyone gone forever and all eternity. Bla, bla, bla but now that they're gone,( at least most of them are) I have nothing to do. Arrrgh!!! Why am so conflicted?! Why am I so miserable? I want to be happy but happiness is so vile.

Even if there was a slight chance of me being happy and I wasn't a villain anymore I wouldn't be happy anyhow. I wish more than ever that she was here".

The lid to my orange prison arose once again. Who was this mystery woman?

I was his dancing Queen. I heard him as say so. I had value didn't I?

Was there perhaps another Queen from afar, who ruled some other province? I would not allow her to rule this lair. Only Robbie and I ruled this territory. Besides she couldn't be the Queen of Dance, that was my title and it belonged solely to me.

Yes that little pink tornado, Stephanie might have won that day but if it weren't for that bumbling idiot, Milford Meanswell I would have won.

I could have won that Trophy for him. I was bearly given a chance.

One day I'll defeat her. One day I'll shine.

One day Robbie will be winner.

Robbie already is a winner...to me.

Sportaflop and the rest of those kids just kept getting in the way of his success.

Yet who is this Lady he speaks of?

Is she indeed a lady at all?

Perhaps she is some girl he knew at school. It's probably something innocent, nothing unusual, nothing strange, nothing but a school girl, a mere classmate of his. She's obviously no school girl now, no doubt she's grown up and completely forgotten about him.

"No amount of wishing is going to bring her here. Wishing is for babies. The only way she'd come here is if I invited her. She wouldn't just come here, all out of the blue, unannounced. She of course being that good little girl would at least call me first before she came and showed up here.

* * *

Only nobody calls me. What is the use of having a phone if nobody bothers to call me?!"

There had actully been several individuals who had attempted to reach him but the trouble was he rarely picked up. On several occasions he had been asleep, another time he'd been fixing some cake, while other times he just wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone.

When he did pick up most of the calls were robots, a few were asking for donations, while others simply had the wrong number.

Was it possible that one of these unanswered phone calls could have been from his old schoolmate?

" Even if she were to call me, what would I say? It's not as if I've made the effort to stay in touch with her. So what am I to say to her? I'm sorry I was too lazy to pick up the phone and call you. Everybody knows the phone works both ways. She could have called me anytime. I know I could say I was too busy catching Sportacus. No, way too direct . I was pursuing my career in villainy, yes that's it.

I meant to call but i just got all caught up with career, then there's the fan mail and the TV interviews. Villany is my career. Villainy is my business. I make it my business. Trapping that Sportaloony was top priority afterall. Getting rid of that Sportakook was important now wasn't it? Of course it was.

Yet what about now?! Sportaflop isn't here.You have time. No, I mustn't call her.

She's probably busy too. Plus I don't even know the number. Oh excuses, excuses! You're nothing but a coward! I am not. Then just call the girl.The worst thing she can do is not awnser. No actually the worst thing she can do is awnser and then hang up shortly after that. The key word is hang up. What if I disgust her? What if she absolutely hates me? Oh alright Queenie, I'll do it. I'll call her."

Queenie is the the nickname he gave me. I wonder what nickname he has for her?

"Phonebook,phonebook, phonebook. Oh I know it's somewhere around here"

Robbie furiously searched his lair.

Finally with a few heaving breaths he retrieved a phonebook from amongst one of the piles of garbage. He dusted off the debris from the cover with a few careful sweeps of his hand.

"Goodwill,Goodwill Goodwill. Ah ha! Here it is. Funny it doesn't have a address.Oh no matter, I'll look that up later. I hope she picks up. On second thought I hope she doesn't. Then I won't have to worry about what to say. Calm down, Robbie. Just state your name and let her do the rest. She knows you. So it's just best you let her do the talking. No one likes a chatterbox.

Argggh! Why am I so nervous?! Am I actually working up a sweat? How disgusting! I hate sweat. It's a sign of hard work. Sweat shouldn't be natural, Sweat shouldn't even be legal, Yet here I am sweating. I really need to sit down!"

He practically collapsed into his bright orange recliner.

The phone was right on the table next to him. He was not only perspiring, he was shaking as well. This made it particularly difficult especially when having to enter the number by a old fashioned dial.

Somehow Robbie was a little behind the times.

"Hello". Robbie's voice was full of apprehension.

"Who is this?" I could hear a distant murmur from the other line. The voice sounded rather nasally and unimpressive.

He cleared his throat and responded in smooth radio type of voice.

"This is Robbie.".

suddenly he didn't look so certain.

"Robbie, Robbie Who?"

"Great she doesn't remember me". he whispered to himself.

"I'm sorry I didn't quite catch that. Did you say you were a friend of Lucy's?"

" No I didn't say but yes I suppose I am one".

"Um well Lucy isn't in just now. She's out at the moment. Can I take a message?"

I could hear him let out a growl of frustration.

He struck the floor with his feet furiously. He bit his lip and ground his teeth.

" Look just tell her that a old friend called

a very old friend if you will. Just say Robbie called okay! She knows who I am and you clearly do not. Thank you very much!" he snarled into the mouth piece and hung up the phone abruptly onto the receiver with a incredible amount of force.

" This is why I hate phone calls. Calls going in calls going out, it makes no difference to me._That_, receptionist or whoever that was on the phone just now probably won't even pass the message onto her. So she'll be sure not to call me back. Why did I talk myself into this? Oh Queenie why did I even bother to call her at all? She's just going to let me down, just like the rest of the world. Even Sportacus let me down in the end. He told me he was my friend. Can you believe it? He actually left me here all alone to fend for myself! I've always fended for myself even when mother was around. I was always sulking in a corner somewhere...

until I met _her. Yet_ that's besides the point, the point is he's gone. I thought friends were supposed to stick around forever. Ha! Some friend he is. I never wanted him as a friend anyway, so there's no loss there. Friends are highly overrated. Who needs them? I know I don't. Oh stop fooling yourself. Just admit it, you're lonely, you're mostly bored but nevertheless I am lonely. I don't think I've ever been lonely before. I've always enjoyed my own company and nobody else's. Then she came along and she told me what friendship was all about. She showed me there was more to life than super heroes, comics, collecting action figures and watching TV. Enough of that Robbie. I do not work well with others

I never have. Yet I have no shame. I'm one of a kind that's why I don't fit in anywhere. Being one of a kind has its benefits. I like to call myself a limited edition. Just sometimes I wish someone could appreciate that side of me.

I mean seriously is it such a crime to be accepted by somebody out there? I need some appreciation, I need somebody to tell me how good looking I am, somebody to see how fabulous I've become. I _want_ somebody to able to say to me" Robbie you are so deliciously dashing. Words cannot express how absolutely brilliant you are. You have this marvelously glorious smile and the chin by the way is part of you I'd wish you wouldnever change. Why thank you. You're too kind. Please no more. You're making me blush. Really I'm so flattered. Do you really mean it.

Yes I do.

Well in that case you can stay. Afterall what are old friends for.

Arrrgh! I hate my life! Forget it Robbie, Nobody is coming to see you and let's face it, nobody is going to stay here. You've kept everybody away, for some ridiculous reason. Oh woe is me! I knew this day would come, the day when Robbie Rotten's name would be forgotten from all time and from all the world forever. I'm nothing but a memory now. I'm even less than that. I'm fading and I'm fading fast. Goodbye Cruel world, I am no more". Robbie emitted a tearless sob.

Robbie tended to be a tad overdramatic and he had a tendency to over exaggerate when he was upset. Robbie's Pathetic sobs faltered slightly as he glanced at the orange telephone that rested on the side table right next to him.

A spark of hope ignited in his eyes which was then followed by a classy villainous grin.

He really had no idea how alluring he was when he smiled. He must have been a quite the hot item with the ladies in his younger days.He was still quite a catch and that's just what i was afraid of. After Robbie had composed himself he began to do the most unexpected thing, he began to clean. Cleaning as if his life depended upon it.


	4. Fallen Heroes

"I hate trash. I think I've seen enough trash to last a lifetime.

What's worse is I had actully take it out

When I say out I really mean I had step out of the comfort of my own home and pick up every bag of trash; expose myself

to all that terribly healthy sunshine and fresh air and place those bags somewhere the garbage man could find them. I had to actually ask Milford of all people for help.

I, Robbie Rotten never ask for help

I mean Queenie could you imagine me asking for help from that bungling bonehead? I meant bumbling, never mind that. He's still head over heels in love with that blue haired Bessie Nobody woman. Why hasn't he tied the knot yet? Why the heck hasn't he proposed?! I suppose I wouldn't either if I had someone special like that. Not that Bessie is special, I meant if I had a special someone which I don't and I_ do not_ think I ever will. Thankfully the old man was alone...still it was _ak-ward._ I hate awkward. I fortunately barely even broke a sweat. How does one break a sweat? English is a very strange language. Oh well I'm not the numbskull that invented it. If I wanted to to create a language, I could do it, I am afterall a genius. I still need to give this place a good dusting. Why does cleaning have to be such hard work? I hate hard work!

I hate any kind of work period.

What's the point of cleaning up a place no one ever sees?!"

Robbie groaned and grumbled as he went along with his long over due chores.

He had a broom and a feather duster. When he had dusted every surface that was within his reach, he retrieved a ladder so he could tear away the cobwebs that hung abstractly upon the walls and ceiling. This was a relatively simple task. I could tell because his grumbling lessened somewhat. Everything was going splendidly that is until he found a spider. Perhaps the spider found him, it was rather hard to tell. He howled and screeched and waved his arms in all sorts of random directions. He nearly fell off the ladder, miraculously he hopped off to the safety of the floor. He continued hopping until he eventually lost momentum. When he finally found his footing, he tore off his shoe and he bolted towards the spider with fury in his eyes. The spider had migrated down to the level of his eyes at this point. He had the face of warrior just about to head into battle.. He issued a war like holler. The spider didn't stand a chance infact when he was finished the spider didn't stand at all. It was nothing but a smear upon the wall.

"Ugh!Great now I have another mess to clean up. Oh Cute!It mucked up my shoe as well. Where did I put that Super Cleaner 3000? I haven't used that since...since Sportacus. I remember how he acted...he acted so annoyed when I mucked up his shoes with purple goo.

Then I played the old switcheroo on him. I gave him the wrong shoes and threw the his real shoes in a garbage can. Those were the days when superheroes were easily fooled and villains could be king.

As my grandmama would say" Every great hero is in desperate needs of a great villain". I am that villain. I am the greatest villain of all time, My only problem is nobody is here to witness that fact. I'm so good at what I do my excellence is simply off the charts. I'm actully pretty bad, there's definitely nothing good about me but I make bad _look_ good. It's not easy being this bad. Infact it took lots of practice...that and many hours in front of the mirror, not to mention all those voice lessons I took. Honestly it was hard but it was worth the effort. I do not intend to put that much effort into anything like that ever again. I mean why practice when you've already reached perfection. If this isn't the face of perfection, I don't know what is." He now complimented himself in front of the mirror.

"I'm glorious I know but what's the use good looks, endless charm and infinite brilliance when I can't even use it in anybody?! When Sportacus was here I could be the villain of my dreams. I wish I was the villain of somebody's dreams. I wonder if Sportacus ever dreamt of me. Nah. Sportaflop probably dreamed of piles and piles of sportscandy and winning sports competitions. Probably winning my trophy no doubt.That overacting jumping bean always thought it was his duty to the day. Why save the day when you can seize it

for Youreself? That's your problem Sportacus you never seized anything for yourself. You were always giving the spoils to others. Being a hero is a _very _lonely business. You worry about everybody else and nobody worries about you. You probably thought those kids cared for you. They didn't. Afterall that effort of saving them over and over again nobody ever came to your rescue. To Milford and Bessie you were just some lucky charm to them. That's how heroes are treated. That's what heroes are they're just matching accessories, catchy theme music and complicated looking thingamajigs like that crystal of his and that idiotic machine that shot out apples and tennis rackets. I remember the days when super heroes were individuals you could actually admire and look up to.

They were honest, they had the gift of flight and wore nothing fancy,except spandex, a belt and a Cape. They had laser eyes and Xray vision and of course super strength. They had these incredible side kicks that were just as noble and admirable. They never let you down. They could do anything, go anywhere in a couple seconds flat.They moved faster than the speed of light if I remember.

Nothing was impossible for them. Then those heroes became less popular and new heroes came to take their place.These old heroes retired and eventually some of them just faded away from the world and they were forgotten.

Some of them must have died and so did my dreams along with them. All those dreams of being a hero suddenly didn't mean as much to me anymore. Oh yes Queenie I could have been a good guy at one time in my life. You see Unlike some heroes such as Sportacus I was smart. Yes, beneath this marvelous exterior of mine I had a brain. I knew what living the life of a super hero would cost. I knew the truth and I knew the cost was too high,the rewards were too few.So naturally I changed. If I hadn't, I would not be who I am today. So in other words I regret nothing."

I wondered if this story was true for I still see traces of sadness in his eyes.

He shoved the mirror out of the way in forceful fashion.

"People used to listen to me, now there's no one left to listen. Why am I a _villain?__Villains_ are supposed to have all the fun. Why am I not having any fun? _Because_ Robbie you're cleaning. _Real_ villains don't clean. Real villains hire little minions to do the hard stuff for them. Maybe I need an assistant. Oh _that _will never happen!

_No one_ and I mean no one would _ever_ apply for that job. Nobody would even volunteer.

Oh come on! I'm not that difficult to work with am?

Oh yes you are. You might not work but you're certainly a difficult individual."

He was yet again standing in front of the mirror, inspecting his teeth at great length. I would volunteer. I would willingly serve him as both maid and accomplice. Villains don't have side kicks, only heroes have those. Villains have accomplices.

The sad thing is nobody is asked me.What's worse is Robbie never once asked me anything. Oh sure he asked me couple of quick rhetorical questions. Sometimes I wish Robbie wasn't so stuck on himself. I wish he was more considerate sometimes. Sometimes I wish he wasn't such a child. I just wish he'd grow up somehow.


	5. Unexpected Friendship

Robbie fell asleep with a contented smile on his face. He had left the TV on yet again. The poor dear had been all worn out from the day of cleaning. I'd never seen Robbie work so hard in my life. He worked at being a villain, that was certain but to work hard at anything outside of villainy was astoundingly rare.

I had no idea he was capable of doing so much in one day.

I suppose he worked no less in a day pursuing Sportacus.

"Good shoes, Good shoes".

he half murmured in his sleep.

" No Sportacus.No Sportacus. I decree that Sportacus leave Lazy Town Forever. I mean forever _yes For- ever." _

He must have been a having a good dream, a very good dream indeed.

" Oh Luciana. Don't go, Don't go. Stay, stay, please stay...a little bit longer. Wait! Don't come! Don't come in! I'm not ready! No, don't touch that! Yes thank you. Yes Robbie _can _dance. Robbie _will _dance. Robbie loves to dance...all the time.

Extra fries please.

Does this dress make my hips look too big?These...these heels...are absolute murder. Give me a massage...please. Hey get out of my closet! Mother I'm not going to eat that! I'm on a...a special diet. I don't eat anything and I mean anything green. Feed it to the dog. Well send it to China,Mama. I'm going over to Lucy's. I can't stay here, I won't stay. I can't stand being in this house. Stop fussing. Stop fussing over me. Lucy you understand me. I don't want to be healthy, I _want _to be _me._ I don't wanna go to law school. Please not Harvard mother. I'd rather go to Juilliard. Send me to Juilliard, Mother.

No, I'm not going. You can't make me!

I'm warning you. I'll leave home! I'll join the circus, you'll see. Yes, yes Lucy will be joining me. Yes we'll be home before 10:00. Yes I'm skipping P.E today. I have a note from my doctor...right here. Are you going to eat that? I love cafeteria food. I wish I had extra fries".

I want to laugh but somehow I can't find the laughter in me. Maybe I don't have a sense of humor. I guess there are just too many things on my mind. Honestly he's the only thing in my mind. He has been so depressed lately and I just worry about him. I really thought I knew my master but over the past few days I've become less and less certain. I'd began to question my present knowledge of him. Of course I loved him for who he was. I'd love him regardless of his past. I'd love him even if he wasn't a villain anymore Still I wondered what he was before all this villainy. Was it actually possible that Robbie wasn't always a villain? Could be possible it be possible that Robbie was once a good guy? Wasn't he a extraordinary nastiness machine?

I blame myself for being so assumptious.

I assumed I knew everything there was to know about him since I've been a proverbial fly on the wall for so long.

I forgot that Robbie has many layers as well as many sides to his person. He's not just a one dimensional person

Most people are 3 dimensional, Robbie as you know isn't like most people, so I believe Robbie has 4. Maybe he has a fifth dimension to personality that I'm not aware of. He is a immensly complex individual.

Most of Lazy Town thought he was just a reclusive grump, when Robbie is really so much more. He's not just a grouch, he's a villain with pizzaz.

Yes he enjoys a lazy lifestyle but that doesn't mean he was meant to be lazy.

Just because he wants to be lazy dose not necessarily mean he is a lazy person. Yet you probably know all that. I've seen the many times he's vowed never move a muscle but every single time he's broken his oath of complete lethargy. I don't mean to be a drag like that Sporty fellow in blue but his beautiful body was made for movement.

He may not be the most graceful at times never less he has the moves of super star. Seriously, Robbie should have been a model. He loves to dress up and he has that overly touchy and egotistical air that would be perfect for that kind of lifestyle.

Yes Robbie has an ego. He's not a humble person. I'm okay with that. His ego doesn't bother me. I have airs of my own.

I love how Robbie marches right into every situation, it doesn't matter what situation, he exudes this peculiar confidence. Wherever he goes, he responds to life in a feisty fashion. He's funky, he's fashionable in whatever he wears and he emanates real attitude. The kind of attitude that means nobody can touch you. The I don't care what you think attitude. So Robbie is a very sassy boy.

_Thankfully _he has made very few enemies in the world with this sassy attitude of his. He has even less since Sportacus and the rest of those trouble makers left Lazy Town. The beautiful silence of his lair was disrupted by a rare and unexpected sound, the sound of the telephone. Robbie gasped in bewilderment. There was nothing so absolutely unbearable for Robbie as being awakened from his slumber too suddenly. He hacked out a guttural moan.

"This better be _important". _he growled behind gritted teeth.

"Hello".

"Is this Robbie?"

" Yes I was the last time I checked". he wittily remarked back.

" So this really is _the Robbie Rotten?"_

_"_Yes it is I. Look I don't who you are but I was just in the middle of somewhat decent dream when you called me. So my brain isn't even awake yet and I'm _really really _not in the mood for conversation. So please just state your name and your

business, when I say business I mean for you to give the reason your calling. The sooner you tell me the sooner I can get back to sleep!"

" You really are Robbie aren't you? You haven't changed much and I'm glad so to hear it."

"Look I already told you that I was. What else do you want from me?! Who is this?!"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so mysterious. This is Lucy. I haven't t

talked to you in what feels like forever. You see I heard you called so I thought it would be nice if I called you back. I apologize for calling you at such a bad time. I didn't mean to disturb you-"

"Oh no, no, no you didn't disturb me." Robbie interjected.

"I'm already disturbed yet thank you for your concern."

I could hear the pleasant sound of soft laughter on the other line.

" I really had no idea were asleep. Do you wish for me to call you at another time?"

"Another time? No, no, no there's no need to do that. I'm the one that should be sorry. I mean, I wasn't...what's the word..

oh yes I wasn't very _nice."._

_"_Its perfectly alright. You have no reason to apologize. I quite understand. I'm a little slow myself in the mornings, so I've been there. I'm not much of a morning person either. I'm more of a night owl, you know."

Robbie chuckled softly. Why was he being so civil? Nobody disrupts Robbie without getting a good tongue lashing. Robbie is a fearsome and formidable force to be dealt when he doesn't get enough sleep. Why was he making an exception with her? What made her so special?

"Just out of curiosity how did you get this number? Why...Why did ...you call me at all?"

" I have my ways. The reason I'm calling is I just wanted to let you know that I've been thinking of you".

"Thinking of me?"

his voice almost squeaked.

" Why is that so surprising? You were my very best friend. You were a friend to me when nobody else was. You were my real anchor when I had nothing to hold onto. You heard my voice when no one listened. You were my Rock, Robbie.

You gave me such strength whenever I was down. Whatever I was experiencing in my life you always knew just what to say to me. You were always so reliable. You always knew how to make me laugh. I guess what I'm trying to say is I miss you. I miss the fun we used to have. I miss spending time with you."

Was she talking about the same person? The Robbie she was illustrating was sweet, kind, loyal and loving. Robbie was none of these things. She must have the wrong Robbie. She must have chosen the wrong number in the phonebook. This must be another Lucy, a different Lucy that doesn't know him. Whoever this person was obviously doesn't know Robbie in the slightest. She must be absolutely clueless.

" That was a long time ago, Lucy. I'm not that super loyal and ever reliable Robbie anymore. I'm different now. Look I know we were friends and I'm glad you remember me. Really I'm flattered but I can't...I just can't be that person for you anymore. I don't know if you've gotten the latest update yet...but I'm sort of a villain right now".

"Yes I know. I've gotten the latest update and from what I've seen you've made quite a name for yourself. I don't want to come off too weird but I've followed your career quite extensively. I must say you've certainly been a busy man".

"Wow. Okay. This whole villain thing doesn't bother you?"

"No not in the slightest".

"_Ok- kay. _I'm not going to get rid of you that easy am I?"

" Nope and you never will. Real friends never leave you. Real friends stick with you for life."

"You mean they stick around forever?" Robbie voice became hushed and thoughtful.

" Yes Robbie forever and all time. I know it's been a long time and I know I haven't exactly been around but I just wanted you to know Robbie that I've always been your friend and I've never stopped".

Robbie remained silent for quite some time. He swept the crust out of his eyes

and blinked a few times. His eyes couldn't have gotten any wider. This wasn't what he had expected to hear. He had expected mother like lecture perhaps or some quick little speech of disgust. He'd done some pretty despicable things afterall. Wouldn't disgust be the natural reaction?She wasnt reacting at all.What was wrong with this girl? She was responding with understanding and compassion. What did I know of compassion? All I knew was if this girl was so pure and good willed she would stay away from men like Robbie. This Little Miss Perfect better keep her distance from Robbie period.

" Are you still there?"

Lucy called out to him.

"What? Oh yes, I'm still here. I just- I just - I was just thinking and I was just surprised, that's all. You know taken aback. It's a good thing I'm sitting down you know".

Robbie nibbled slightly on his knuckles.

" I'm that shocking am I?"

"You? Shocking? Never. This call is just a bit unexpected".

" When I learned that you had called that was unexpected. I was hoping that...how do i say this...that we could meet up somehow".

"Meet with me?". He had just snubbed her. He had just told her off at least I thought he did. Boy this girl wouldn't give up.

" Yes I was thinking we could get together. Maybe I could visit you. Would that be alright?"

"Mhmmm".

"That means what exactly?"

" I mean yes. It's fine. I'm fine. Oh I don't know. If you want to come visit, I certainly won't stop you".

"You certainly don't sound fine. Are you sure you're alright?".

" Me? Sure? I'm not sure about anything right now and I'm far from alright. Let's face it I'm in a pretty foul mood. Would you believe me of I told you that I'm sort of in retirement right now?"

" No, never. You must be joking. You're not even that old. You're still young Robbie. Robbie, what's wrong?"

"Everything is wrong. My whole life is wrong. Oh phooey, Sportacus is gone".

"Really? Where'd he go?"

" How on earth am I supposed to know?He didn't even tell even me.He just left.I mean can you believe that this is the same guy that claimed he was my friend?"

" I'm so sorry Robbie. He didn't leave a note?"

"No,not that I know of. It was just flipity flip then poof! he was gone just like that. He kind of left in a hurry. That man is always in a hurry to get somewhere. if you ask me I think he's running from something that's why he can't sit still for even a minute. Now he's gone, no one will ever know. So the mystery of the blue man continues."

Lucy laughed at Robbie's last remark.

" Well, he must not have truely been your friend, Robbie. It sounds as if you're more on vacation than in retirement. Tell me are you sure you're up to having some company?"

" Vacations are far too exspensive. Vacations are usually taken outside the home. I usually don't venture too far from home. I'm kind of a homebody. So it's really not much of a vacation."

"You know what? Vacations should never be done alone. So maybe I could join you on this little vacation."

" Hehehe. Well that's rather a tall order at this time now, mam, but there may be a opening available... shall we say sometime next week. However if you call again I may be able to fix you with a more specific time".

Lucy laughed yet again.

" Well in that case I shall call you tomorrow"

"Oh yes of course madam please do".

" I hope you catch up on your sleep, Robbie".

" Sleep? You've got to be kidding me! I'm wide awake now! Who needs sleep? I don't think I'll even sleep a wink now. I _refuse_ to sleep until I've heard from you again".

" Robbie, please there's really no need to lose any sleep over me. I'll call you soon enough and I'll be there even sooner if you wish me to. Just sit back and relax. Watch some TV. Do whatever it is that you normally do on a regular basis".

" Wait so you _really _want to come here to Lazy Town so you can visit me?"

" Yes of course I do Robbie. I understand if you said no. You have every right. I really don't wish to intrude".

"No you-you- you wouldn't be intruding at all in any way".

There was desperation in his voice now and his voice quivered slightly.

" I mean it's not as if I have a busy schedule or anything. Are you sure you want to come?"

"Yes Robbie I'm sure. I'm not planning to visit Milford, I'm planning to visit you. I'll talk to you tomorrow okay?"

"Okay. I can't wait to hear from you, bye".

" Goodbye Robbie".

Robbie's face went from a pinkish red to a royal purple.

Was he going to be sick?

He practically kept from his chair. He threw out his knee up as far as it could go and simultaneously pointed his toes. Then he literallys he lept into the air. Great, he was doing a dance move. This was not going to end well. He of course nearly fell on his face, he nonetheless was completely oblivious to the pain. He was all sprawled out, flat out on his stomach laughing like a madman.

" She's coming, she's coming, she's coming". he chanted in a sickening sing song voice.

" I need to mop before she gets here. A mop, a mop, a mop. Ah there it is".

He mopped every inch of the lair, he even mopped the walls. Robbie had a real tendency to overdo things.

Instead of grumbling he hummed to himself.Sometimes he would even sing a few of the words out loud.

"I'm the master of disguise I can vanish before your eyes". he sung in his rich baritone voice.

" Oh sometimes it's so nifty when I'm really really shifty. It's disguise time." he announced.

"Oh disguise time used to be my favorite time of the day but now with Sportacus gone I have all these disguises and no place to go. Not that there is any place _to go. May- be _I should try one of them on. No don't time for any of that. Maybe I should throw them away. No I've thrown enough stuff away. Then I'll have to make another public appearance just to take yet another trip to the garbage. I could always donate them. No that's too charitable. Yuck! Robbie Rotten is many things but he is not in any way charitable. Maybe. I have a yard sale, only I don't have a yard but I could always sell my clothes for money. Only who would want some has been's clothes. Never mind I'm keeping them and that's final.

The Robbie Rotten has spoken".

Robbie followed that with a cunning cackle.

" She says "Do what you normally do Robbie". ' She must be teasing me. Seriously she must be joking. How can she expect me to do anything normally especially when I'm not not even normal myself. Oh quiet Robbie. Just can it! All she told you to do was relax and watch TV. Just do the same old That's all I ever do is laze about and watch TV and that's so boring! I want to be lazy only I can't!"

Robbie squawked.

" I won't, I can't and I shan't.How can I manage to do the same old things when I know she's coming here. What's even better is she actually wants to come and she doesn't hate me afterall. She actually remembers me...fondly. I'm not a fond memory to anyone except of course maybe to my mother but that's another story. How can I say no? How am I to refuse her? I could never say no to her

Queenie, she's not the bossy type. She's the perky what do you want to do today kind of girl. Not perky like that pink haired nightmare. She's a little bit more mellow than that. She was never the cheer leader kind of girl. She was one of those girls who would always share her candy with me, even if all she had were two pieces of the stuff, she'd give me one. At the school cafeteria every week she would have a side of fries but she would never get a chance to even touch them because she'd always give them to me. She didn't have to be nice to me, she just was. I neve understood it. She gave me her company, her loyalty and her kindness while gave her nothing. Well I gave her my milk and few of my mothers cookies. Loved the cookies, hated the milk. It was one of those things that I don't think should be together but other than that I never gave her anything else.

I could have at least bought her a box of chocolate, some terribly, bright,cheery flowers or some sort of sparkly jewelry. I wasn't the thoughtful type. I wasn't

the romantic type either. Plus I was just a kid, so romance was the last thing on my mind. The point is our family had money, we weren't destitute. I could afford to spoil her with gifts and other expensive stuff. Mother would have been happy.She would have been overjoyed. Now Lucy's family was poor. They were practically Paupers. Lucy herself was almost a orphan. Her mother was rarely home,she always off at work and her father was nowhere to be seen. Regardless she never complained, she always appeared to be happy. She must have been really good at hiding all those emotions. She must have been good at holding all of them inside. I can't hide anything, I have to let it all out. I wear my emotions on my face at all times no matter what. I was even worse when I was around her. I could never hide anything from her. Let's face it Queenie I'm a terrible friend. I never even wrote her a letter.At least Sportacus had the decency to write me one.

Arghh! This is one the reasons I don't have any friends. You have to be in constant connection with someone in order to be their friend. Sportaflop doesn't count. I didn't have any friends before SportaSpot came either.

Now that she's come into the picture, claiming I'm her greatest friend of all time I'm all warm smiles and charm. How can this be happening to me. I'm not warm, I'm definitely not loyal and I'm certainly not friendly. I'm not even kind!

I'm Robbie Rotten and I'm the greatest and the meanest, most despicable villain of all time. Regardless I really want her to come. Regardless of how incredibly fiendish I am, I greatly wish her stay here to be as enjoyable as possible. I know I'll bake a cake and I'll try not eat any of it. Oh forget it, a little slice wouldn't hurt. I'm sure she wouldn't mind".


	6. Old Friends

Robbie eventually went back to sleep. He had turned on the TV just like Lucy had advised. He often fell asleep with the TV on.

" World class villain Vinnie Vile opens up to the public for the first time. He claims he's made alot of wrong turns in his life and he has more than a little regret about them. Vinnie is now leading a reformed life and has currently given up his old life of crime. He told Intellect reporters this morning that he actully has a daughter who he hopes he can be reunited with soon." Bantered a newswoman on TV all clothed in red.

"He claimed he would come visit her as often as he could but now looking back he realized it wasn't enough."

A man with sleeked back hair and long aquiline nose spoke morosely to the newswoman.

"She was always a beautiful child. I greatly wished she knew how much I cared for her. She probably has no idea how much love I had for her. From the moment we met and she was placed in my arms all those barriers I had placed around my heart melted away and I had this love that I had never had before. This love was abounding and overflowing. I couldn't stop it from coming in.I am greatly looking forward to meeting her again. There is so much I want to tell her, I just hope she's willing to listen".

The story moved onto another.

" Stephanie Meanswell announces her engagement to Ziggy Zweet". another newscaster came on to announce.

Robbie woke up with a shreik.

" What?!!! Why must they torture me still?!" Robbie yelped as he arose from his chair to turn off the TV in such a hurried fashion he nearly fell and tripped on the corner of his blanket.

Robbie had a bed but for some sily reason he never used it. So every night he ended up falling asleep in his chair out in what could only be called a livingroom. This particular part of the lair appeared to be the only part he used. I hadn't seen the rest of his lair. All I was accustomed to was seeing that one room cause I couldn't go anywhere else! I could see his disguises on proud display, all enclosed in individual plexiglass tubes lined up in five rows behind him. He was wearing his maroon, purple and gold striped pajamas with the matching robe and night cap.

He looked absolutely adorable.

" Oh I need to wake up anyway. Wake up, Wake up Robbie. You're are expecting a phone call.

You don't have to worry about that pink tornado and that pathetic cookie boy any longer. I mean haven't they been together forever anyway? No matter. I _really _don't want to know. All I want to know is when Lucy is going to come.

Wait, Lucy doesn't know when she's coming.

Uh Oh! I'm supposed to tell her today.

I'll just tell her to come as soon as possible. No that's not specific enough. Oh why did I agree to this? I should have just told her to stay away. Yes that's what I'll do; next time she calls which I hope she does sometime soon, I'll tell I don't want her here. I've changed my mind Lucy. It's just not going to work out.

No, don't come to Lazy Town whatever you do. It's _sooo _boring here. They'll be nothing for you to do here. Nobody has any fun around here in Lazy Town. No smiling, no laughing, no fun and absolutely no sports and no dancing. Nobody dances, not even me. I mean come on, this town is so small you have to use a a magnify glass just to find it on the map. It's so small it's practically microscopic. There's not even a decent hotel around here. This town is not a tourist stop. People usually come here by mistake. They make a wrong turn and then end up here. No one goes out of there way to find this place unless of course they want to move here. There's always the mayor's old place. He has a room available yet nobody's stayed in that place since that pink disaster left Lazy Town.

The Mayor was just saying the other day "Things are so different since Stephanie left. No one can ever replace her, you know". ' Why would anyone want to replace that little brat? You know what really bothered me about that girl?

Well besides being too uppity, too perky too fussy and too prissy, she always was too grown up. She acted like she was in charge. She acted like she was a little adult. What was worse is Milford treated her like one. Then Sportacus came with all his big dreams and big hopes and soccer balls and he filled that child's brain with even more fluff and nonsense. She was just brimming with happiness, confidence and eager enthusiasm and Sportaflop had to swoop in and encourage her even more to follow her dreams, eat lots of sportscandy, do the splits and dance like a superstar. _Okay _she reached for the stars _now_ why can't she take a break for a few minutes? What's wrong with doing nothing for a few moments? Is it such a sin to dedicate _one day_ to recover from the rest of the week?! Is it such a crime to take the day off from singing and dancing?

There should be one day a week where everybody is allowed to do nothing...

for _one whole day__!_

_Life_ should have a off switch. If there isn't one, you make one. Speaking of switches, I really wish I had that kid pebble's remote right about now. Ahhh, now _that _was fun, having all that power all at the tip of my fingers.That remote control could do anything. All I had to do was push a button and the whole world froze. I loved the part where I put Stephanie on mute. The silence was absolutely heavenly. I couldn't hear her constant twittering, I just heard the wonderful sound of my own voice. I could actually hear myself, now I hear myself all the time and I'm sick of it. Everyday there's nobody but me to listen to. Honestly I don't hate myself, I love being me, I love being Robbie but lately it's gotten to be a bit tiresome. True I may not be much for conversation but right now I wish more than anything that I could have one. So I can't turn her away.

Don't turn her away whatever you do. I'm begging you. Wait Robbie doesn't beg, He makes demands. Therefore I demand she come here to Lazy Town. Good, I'm glad that's settled. She can stay here with me, in my underground batchelor pad. It's perfect. Yet maybe I should give her a choice. She either stays with that bumbling numb skull Milford or she can stay in my beautiful underground abode.

There's no way she's going to stay with the Mayor. He'd offer her Stephanie's old room. It's all in pink. It has all these disgustingly cheery colors spalshed all over the place like bright orange and sky blues. It's enough to make one sick. She's not a pink loving, unicorn wearing, super feminine girlie girl. She prefers fiery dragons and vigorous swordplay.She's no princess awaiting her prince to save her. She saves herself and she waits for no one especially for no knight in shining armor. She fights her own battles without the aid of any hero. So she dosen't care wether I'm a hero or not. She likes me just the way I am...at least i hope. Afterall she _did say_ she'd followed my career quite extensively. Extensive, extensive. What dose that word even mean? It probably means alot of something right? Never mind that. I have to get ready. If i want her to come soon, I_ must_ look my very best."

Robbie tore off his night cap and stuffed it into the chair beneath the seat so it was out of sight. He rose from his chair and clapped his hands in a demanding fashion. The mirror lowered down to meet his overly handsome face. Robbie had certain super human abilities, one of them being able to dress himself in a few seconds. He didn't even have to take his clothes off, his clothes had a strange way of appearing on his person.

They didn't just appear they materialized themselves upon his body. Sportacus had a similar ability but since he never changed his attire such abilities were not put to good use. Practice does indeed make perfect. Robbie was a excellent example. Robbie frequently changed his clothes so his power was more developed than those of Sportacus. Many of Robbie's powers were far superior to Sportaflop's. Another ability that he was not altogether fond of was the ability to grant wishes. Unfortunately due to his lack of practice he rarely ever granted the wish he wanted. So in his frustration he gave up trying. Conjuring objects from thin air was more his specialty, such objects as mirrors, mystical tents, bulldozers, blue cages, a wheel barrow, garbage truck and a cannon ball. Many of these objects he used to trap Sportacus. He was not always too good at the actual trapping part but he was extremely skilled at building them and he had made Sportacus' powers fade many times. Sportacus had a weakness and Robbie knew all about it. They had gone to school together. I think it must have been sometime in high school. He no doubt knew a few of Sportacus' Secrets from that time in his youth. Anyway Sportacus had this weird allergy to sugar. He wasn't diabetic, he just had this strange reaction to sugar. if he ever ate even a bite of sugar he would immediately become weak and incoherent. He would collapse and fall into a unconscious state. Robbie had no food allergies of any kind and his only weakness was his love for cake.

Even cake didn't slow him down. Lastly another super human ability he possessed was being able eat vast quantities of unhealthy food without gaining any weight. It didn't matter what he ate, he still remained in great shape. He was still by no means a small man.

He was particularly tall in stature, he was considerably taller than Sportacus. Even though he hated exercise of any kind he had well defined arms and firmly shaped thighs. Much of his physical power came from his legs. They propelled him everywhere at incredible lengths and velocity. However he displayed much of his emotion through his frequent hand gestures and the constant movement of his arms. Every inch of him was in some way beautiful. How could such a girl as this Lucy even begin to fathom how beautiful a creature he was? How could she even learn to appreciate his incomparable uniqueness?

How could she ever understand him as I did?

She was a goody two shoes. What did she know about villany?

I didn't even know her yet somehow despised her already.

_I miss you Robbie. _she almost pleaded with him. Her voice sounded so pure, so honest and so absolutely sincere. She must have other intentions. I was so sure of it. Her imploring angelic voice had swayed him. Why was Robbie so weak?

Why did Robbie have to be so soft?

Why couldn't he be firm and iron willed?

There was serene thoughtfulness in his grey blue eyes. I saw delight and admiration on his face. Was she somewhat attractive? Was she comely in appearance? I wondered what it was about her that made her so endearing to him.

" Soon she'll be here. I know she will. There's no stopping her now. What is today? Today is Sunday. Sunday, sunday, sunday, which means tomorrow is Monday. So I'll just tell her to come on Monday. Monday is sometime next week

Perfect. The lair is clean, I'm awake and I'm ready for her right now. Robbie, she's not coming right now. Don't get too excited. It's not good for your heart. Excitement gets all that blood pumping

and then that causes you to sweat and then...that's way too healthy. I hate healthy!I deny anything that has to do with health. I despise everything that has the word health in it! Ugh! There's too many healthy things out there in the world. When I was a boy when people wanted to stay fit they would go out and take a walk then they'd come back home

turn on the TV, kick back and relax. Nobody had to run a marathon. Nobody had to enter a sports competition you know the kind where you have to whatever it takes to get to the finish line like that Sports Day thing that those kids had every year in Lazy Town. I even entered it once. You had to bike, skateboard, scooter and run and bike and then i don't remember what else we did. The point of the whole event was to win. The only reason I did it was because of a wager. I wanted to buy this Sports field and they wanted it so they could...frolic around on it. I lost the race and I lost the wager and I lost the Sports field. It was a sad day I know but don't beat yourself up about it. It's over now. Just breathe in breathe out. Oh forget it. My point is life used to be all so simple. Now everybody has to go for the extreme; climb mountains, hike super long trails and bike for miles and miles without end, run in 100 degree weather. Physically fit is one thing but exercising until your body is drained of all life force is ridiculous. Why push your body so hard when you're already are in great shape? It doesn't make any sense.How can one actually have fun exercising?

It's hard work. Hard work isn't supposed to be fun.

Work is so boring. Exercise equals work therefore work is simply not worth my time. it's a complete waste of energy. Why am I talking about exercise? Yuck! Let's talk about something else like that phone call I'm going to get soon." The phone rang just as he finished his last sentence. He bolted for the phone and he briefly caught his breath then awnsered the phone in a smooth sophisticated voice.

" Hello. Robbie speaking".

" This is Lucy Goodwill. Is there still an opening available?"

" For the vacation for two? Yes mam, of course, there most certainly is. I am so glad you called so soon because you may be eligible for discount.".

"Oh really. What kind of a discount?"

" Well, it just so happens since you are the first caller you are eligible for the best, no the finest accommodation available in Lazy Town. I can offer you one night completely free of charge."

"Why will you be paying? Where is this fine accommodation exactly?"

" Where will you be staying? Well you can stay here with me that is...if you want to or you could stay somewhere else like-"

"I'll stay with you. So do I have to pay after the first night?"

" No of course not. Don't be ridiculous. I'm not going to charge you for anything. I'm not that cheap. Look are you sure you want to stay here with me? I'm sure that Milford wouldn't mind if you stayed with him a couple of days. He's kind of weird that way."

" No, don't be silly Robbie. If I wanted to see Milford i would gladly stay with him but I want to see you, not him. If you don't feel comfortable having me stay at your place really I'll understand. I could always stay somewhere else-"

"No, no, no Don't stay anywhere else. I mean there's really no place else to stay here. All Milford has is a hobbit sized room with pink wall paper. Really I don't mind and- and- and you can stay as long as you like completely free of charge.". "

"Yes so you said. So when will this accommodation be available?"

" Oh Monday. Yes Monday. Does Monday sound good?"

"Monday sounds perfect. I'll see you then".

" Wait. When...will...I see you tomorrow...

exactly?"

"As soon as possible".

" Oh, Okay.Wow. Does that mean in the morning or the afternoon or what?"

" How does the morning suit you?"

" It suits me just fine".

' You sound rather nervous. Are you getting anxious Robbie? You know I could come sooner if you like."

"Can you do that?"

"Yes absolutely".

" Look I don't want to rush you. Monday is just fine. I don't do mornings but I'll deal with it. Look I don't really care. You can come whenever you want".

" Alright,I'll come on Monday morning. I'll try not to come too early."

" I told you I don't care. All I care is that you get here in one piece".

"Ah, Robbie you're always so sweet".

"Ha ha. Very funny Lucy".

"No I'm serious Robbie. You say you don't care but deep down you do. That's what. makes you different from all those other villains out there. You've got soul, you have depth and you're not just another heartless fiend. You don't cut yourself off from emotion like the rest of them do. You're not afraid to show how you feel. You just have this incredibly fearlessness in you. I remember when we growing up together and I was just getting to know you, I wanted to be just like you".

"Like me? Really? Why would you want to be just like me?!"

"I envied your confidence. I envied how easy things were for you".

"My life has not been easy. Look.I don't mean to be rude and I don't mean to change the subject but maybe we can talk about this tomorrow."

"Oh yes of course we can, Robbie. We can catch up more tomorrow. I'll let you go now. Goodbye Robbie".

" Bye".

Robbie returned the phone to the receiver in a daze.

His cheeks matched his pinstriped outfit quite nicely now, especially with the maroon.

" She thinks I'm sweet. I'm not sweet am I? If I was a flavor i would be sour. Well think about it Robbie, she hasn't seen you in ages. She doesn't know you. You've changed a considerable deal. She _just_ doesn't know how much you've changed. I was a sweet little boy who only ate cookies and cake after dinner. I did everything a good little boy should do to please his mother. I followed the rules and I said please and thank you. I was the perfect child. Now I am not a child anymore. I'm all grown up now. Yes i have confidence, i won't deny that. Yet when she talks to me...all that confidence just disappears. Oh! I don't think this is going to work."

Robbie put his head in his hands and whimpered slightly.

Robbie's eyes lit up all of a sudden like to two neon signs

"I know I need a new look. Something casual but snazzy. Not too snazzy, I don't want to frighten the poor girl. Yes I think a new get up would do wonders. I mean I'm always wearing the same old thing. No doubt everybody's seen it. Now don't get me wrong this snazzy sense of style has made some pretty big headlines. I like to call it my signature style. Yet I need to break free of that. I need to show my casual classy side. What spells class more than...a bow tie?!!."

A pinkish purple bow tie appeared in

his hands.

" That's not what I meant when I said classy _but_ it will do"

He marched up the metal stairs that lead to a long grated platform. Behind the metal walkway were each of

his disguises. These disguises were typically reset everyday and each one stood upright upon faceless mannequins.

" Reset".

The plexiglass enclosed outfits vertically spun like electronic slot machines. None of these outfits pleased him until until he came to the very end, on the far left of the platform.

"Perfect!" he exclaimed triumphantly. The outfit consisted of one freshly pressed long sleeved lavender shirt and a pair of thick maroon plaid pants accompanied with a black belt.

"Should I change into that now. No that wouldn't make any sense. I'll just lay them out somewhere... hopefully somewhere I can find them and then I'll put them on first thing tomorrow. I should probably set my alarm."

He yet again began to march down the stairs and grabbed ahold of his big orange alarm clock.

I'll set it for 8:08. Where did I get that number? And what happened to sleeping in past noon? Oh well I'll just have to skip it. I can skip my strict sleep regiment for one day can't I? What if she stays more than a day? What if she gets so bored out of her mind that she leaves a day early?!

Calm down Robbie, _nothing_ terrible is going to happen. She_ will _enjoy her stay and then she'll leave with a _dreadful_ longing in her heart to see me again. Don't be such a romantic _and_ don't be so overdramatic.I sound like my mother!

She's just an old friend, she's not an old girlfriend. She could have been more than that but nothing ever happened...between us."

He didn't appear to be too convinced he instead threw his hands up in denial.

" _Well, _there was that one night but that was it. Sure we were close but we weren't that close. I just spent the night at her place one time. Her mother wasn't home and she was lonely so I stayed. I wanted to leave but then she fell asleep and it's kind of hard to just rush out when you have a girl in your arms. Every time I tried to leave she would beg me to stay. It was so maddening yet I didn't want to be let her down. I ended up staying till 3 in the morning. I can just imagine what the media would say if they got ahold of this. **One Night with Robbie. Robbie's One Night Stand. Robbie's Secret Love Affair.**

Nothing happened and I mean nothing! There wasn't even any ove involved. Okay, okay maybe there was a little I only loved her like...like a sister. Oh forget it! Who are you trying to convince. You don't need to convince yourself. Alright I admit I had teensy weensy crush on her. It was just a crush, it wasn't anything serious. Nothing ever became of it. We were just friends. I mean come on I was in middle school when I first met her. Actually I was even younger than that. Oh never mind it doesn't matter. I'm not in touch with the media these days anyway. Wait,when were you ever in touch with the media?!

Oh don't be shy Robbie. You've been in contact with the media a couple of times. I really should make more public appearances. I _really _should get out more. Nah! If I do that I'll have to actually step outside my lair and be all _social._

I don't want to do that. Phew!Good. I'm glad that's been decided. No media, no pictures, no comments and no interviews. I am having company and I don't want anybody to ruin this visit! Everything is going to go perfectly. Nobody is going to mess this up for me! If anyone comes near this lair besides Lucy of course, I will personally put them through the Litilizer and then they'll be little figurines forever. Sometimes I am so mean that I even scare myself".

Sometimes I loved his sense of humor especially now. If anyone is going through the Litilizer it's me and then Lucy's next.


	7. Over Due Reunion

It was exactly 8:08.

He was awake, he wasn't moaning, groaning or screaming at his alarm clock.

Instead of sleeping through his alarm like he usually did, he woke up 40 minutes early before his alarm even went off. He was dressed up in his new outfit he had played out the day before and he was vigorously adjusting his tie.

Why was he doing this all for some girl?

"I can't get this thing straight".

Something however distracted from his slightly crooked tie; there was a clamorous chain of clangs from the various pipes above him. The only time this happened is when Robbie would return and would crash land back into his lair There were several ways of entering the lair. Outside there was a blue circular tube that lead down the lair by a couple of metal rungs that served as a ladder. Many times however he refused to take this ladder, often he would just jump right in without even daring to look where he was going. This tube on the surface was connected to a series of complicated looking pipes beneath the ground. These pipes would twist, turn and curve in all kinds of directions until they finally dropped down to a huge metal pipe below. It was literally a crazy waterless slide.

That huge metal pipe definitely sounded very active today.

There was a strange streak of black that flew across the room, There was the whizz that stung the air like an arrow following the streak. There were a few more unidentified objects that launched themselves about the room. Robbie threw his arms over his head in his defense.

He was eventually able to identify one these fast moving objects.

" A suitcase?! What the heck is a suitcase doing here? Why is it trying to kill me?!"

He noticed the other objects to be of the similar nature. They appeared to be part of some collection, perhaps someone's luggage.

There was a walloping thud that shook the very lair itself. Robbie had his eyes closed at this point and he was crouching down, hiding behind one of his demented microwaves. Curiosity however got the better of him.

He could hear a small muffled cough.

" Who are you and what are you doing here?" Robbie demanded, accusingly questioning a small dark figure on the floor. The figure appeared to be a girl wearing a black very low hooded jacket. The face was rather hard to make out.

" Don't you recognize me?" The hood fell loose and I almost gasped. If there had been any breath in my body, it would have been gone from out my lungs.

A wave of Purple cascades down her shoulders.

Her eyes were two amber incandescent orbs with tiny streaks of silver in them. She had ample lips and a heart shaped face. Her skin reminded me of the moon during a sunset, if indeed such a thing were possible. Robbie was just as taken aback as I was.

" Lucy Goodshoes." Robbie seemed to say in a daze.

"One and the same. You remembered...my nickname that is. I knew you would. I'm sorry for my rude entrance. Could you give me a hand?".

"A- a- a hand with- with what exactly?"

"Well I'm on the floor right now".

" Oh _right._ Um..Sorry. Where are my manners? Welcome to my secret lair. It may be just a secret lair to you but I like to call it home. I could give you a tour if you like or-or-or-or if you want to take a look around I could show you around. Wait, just out of curiosity how did you get in here?"

"Through the porthole in front of that big billboard sign, you know the one with the cow on the front".

" Yes I know what it _looks _like but what I meant was how did you know this was the entrance? How did you even know this was a entrance at all?For all you know this could have that porthole could have lead you straight to the sewers. Oh don't tell me. Let me guess that Big mouth Milford told you right?"

" No not exactly. He told me that you had a secret lair, somewhere out of the way. So he didn't give me directions or anything. No exact location

So naturally I looked for a place that fit that description. This particular area seemed to be well enough out of the way, not to mention abandoned. So I thought this would be the perfect place for Robbie's secret lair to be. Then I just figured out the rest on my own and here I am. You were expecting me weren't you?"

" What? Of course. Why would you think otherwise?"

"Oh nothing...its just you seem a bit stunned that's all. You look different. Is this a new Look?"

" What? Oh this old thing um... no not really. Wait, actually yes _it is_ a new look. I'm just experimenting with a few things. Nothing too major, nothing too extreme. Do you like it?"

" Yes i do. It's casual yet intellectual. You look good".

Robbie then gave her his hand so he could help her up.

Robbie then did a unexpected thing ,a thing I'd never thought he'd do. He kept ahold of her hand and drew forward into a embrace with of course incredible enthusiasm.

Why was he hugging her? Robbie wasn't a hugger. This was so unlike him. Robbie didn't give hugs he gave insults.This was

absolutely disgraceful. This could ruin his career. This could destroy everything he worked so hard for. Even she was shocked of his sudden forward affection. I could see her astonishment yet despite her shock and bewilderment she didn't push him away, she only smiled.

Robbie had released her hand by now and he was close enough a utter a few words into her ear.

" I'm glad your here".

Robbie's voice was hushed

and teeming with warmth and contentment.

"I'm glad to be here. I've been meaning to visit you for a while. I'm just sorry that I didn't visit you any sooner.

I take it you've missed me?"

" Are you kidding?!Of course I have! I couldn't stop thinking about you.

Wow. That came out weird. I meant you've been on my mind and I keep having these dreams about you. I don't know, they probably don't mean anything but- you know what I mean don't you?"

"I know what you mean, silly. So have I, I've had dreams about you too, all the time. Lately it's almost every night."

"Me too. Same here. How funny is that?

Not funny as in ha ha ha, just funny as in r

ironic."

" Yes I know what you meant Robbie. Now you said something about a tour?"

"Oh yeah that's right. For a moment there I almost forgot. Did I mention it's free? Most people would pay to see this but since you're old friend I'll make an exception."

"Oh really? That's mighty wight of you."

"Wight? What is that supposed to mean?!"

" It's mean decent or particularly human. It can also be used to describe someone as valiant or unwavering. It's complicated. In other words all I meant to say is that it was rather nice of you to offer me a free tour."

"_Right. _I knew that. Um...no problem..my pleasure. Afterall what are old friends for?"

He said with a awkward laugh. Why was he acting so foolish?

"Old friends are forever Robbie".

" So you've said. Perhaps you'd like to follow me".

"I'd love to".

So Robbie and Lucy left me alone so they could tour the rest of the lair. He'd never given me a tour. I have been the closest thing he has had to a friend. I've been here the whole time and where was she? What has she been doing with her life? She hasn't been around , I have. If i had a heart it would be breaking. Maybe i do have a heart because i hurt inside. Maybe that's just my pride that's hurt. Don't you have to have a heart in order to have pride?

Maybe I just had to face the facts, maybe i just had to accept the truth, The truth that Robbie wasn't smitten with me, he was smitten with her. I'll never accept it. I'm a real friend to him. I'm his only real friend. Friendship may not be enough for him. I knew where this was going, I knew this wasn't going to be just another friendship. He admitted to having a crush on her. Who was to say he didn't still have one on her? Those big thoughtful amber eyes, that gorgeous face, that perfect hourglass figure and that spectacular purple hair, it was all bound to break his heart. She had good girl written all over her. She was so good she practically radiated goodness. Was it just my imagination or did she actually have a certain peculiar glow about her?

She wasn't just good she was absolutely beautiful. Why I was even calling her beautiful? She was my enemy nevertheless she was a beautiful enemy and she was dangerous. I didn't want to see Robbie hurt by her. If I ever get out of this orange prison, I will strangle her myself. I'm not a dark creature. I'm just overprotective. Robbie will summon me and when he does I come to his aid. Maybe he has the power to make me real. He has the power I know he does. I believe in him. I don't have the heart to actully murder her. I'm growing a heart I must be. When get out of this box I will put her through the Litilizer. I want her to know what it feels like to be so small. I want her to feel what it's like to be so absolutely powerless. She may be Robbie's friend but she most certainly is no friend of mine and she never will be.


	8. No Explanation

I could hear laughter. The laughter was soft and musical. I could hear Robbie's laughter as well echo through the lair.

"This place is amazing Robbie!

It's beyond amazing! Tell me how many people have actually seen all this?"

"You really want the truth? Well so far only you Lucy. Sportacus came here a few times but he never stayed for long. You know Sportacus he never stayed still anywhere for even a minute. He was always moving, moving, moving. That guy never knew how to relax.

Arrrgh! He used to annoy me so much. Just every little thing about him bothered me! Sorry, but it's true. He was _so _annoying! He was a bit like lice.

No matter how hard you scrubbed you could never get him out of your hair. Now that he's gone things are better now."

"That's not the same song you were singing before I came here. It sounds like you miss him Robbie".

"Miss him? Are you crazy?! I _hated _him. He was my arch enemy for crying out loud! How could I miss him? What's there to miss anyway?"

"I'm not crazy Robbie. It's okay to miss someone. It's okay if you miss him; to miss someone is nothing to be ashamed of. You don't have to care for a person In order to miss them. Sometimes people just grow on you. Sometimes you don't miss the person themselves you just miss the regularity that person gives to your life. Sportacus gave you a routine. He gave you something to do everyday and something to look forward to. Now that he's gone you miss that. Okay you say you don't miss Sportacus, I'll accept that but I think what you really miss is the thrill of the pursuit. You miss hunting him down everyday. I'm sorry if he wasn't always there for you. I'm guilty of the same crime. Some people just aren't capable of being a good friend to anyone. Being someone's friend takes patience. Some people just don't have the patience to be someone's friend. Sportacus sadly was just one of those people. You told me yourself that Sportacus was always moving, so he didn't even take the time to get to know you. So he couldn't have truely been your Friend, Robbie."

" Maybe you're right. Actually...you are right. You are_ so_ right, Lucy. Super heroes don't make many friends now do they?"

"No, not usually but that's the cost of being super. Being super demands great sacrifice sometimes giving up friends is one of them. Sometimes Super Heroes have to give up every kind of lasting relationship in their lives. Being a super hero is hard knock life and it's full of lonliness...at least that's what I've heard."

"How did you get to be so wise Lucy?"

Robbie praised her. Why was he was praising her? She sounded like she was repeating something straight out of a book.

" Simple I grew up".

" Have you- you-you really always been my friend this whole time?" Robbie examined the palms of his hands.

" Yes Robbie of course I have and I always will be...forever. Though lately I've been a terrible friend".

Yes! You most certainly have! You haven't been around hardly at all.Take Charge Robbie. Be the King of the Castle and Banish her from your Kingdom Robbie. Be a man Robbie. Let her know who the boss is.

" You? Terrible?! How?"

" I should have come more often to visit you and I didn't".

" Oh that doesn't matter. What matters is you're here now."

I didn't know that Robbie had such a forgiving nature. Robbie's hand interlocked with her own. If I had stomach it would be sick right now. How did she know so much about Superheroes? Why did she look so tragic when she talking about them? It seemed as if she could hear his inner thoughts and see into his very heart. She didn't even know him. Robbie had figured that out all on his own.

Perhaps she had a tragic story. Perhaps she too had lead a lonely life. Big deal. Lonliness is part of life. Robbie is always stronger when he's alone. He brought me to life one night when he was alone. So now I always come to him at night. Still I can't come to him unless he calls me with his heart. He has to wish me to be with him. I can't come out of my box on my own. He obviously won't be summoning out of my box tonight. He has his childhood sweetheart by his side. One of these days he'll forget me altogether. When that happens I too will become a relic. I can't let this happen.

"Can you promise to be my friend forever?"

Robbie's voice sounded strained and weak.

"Yes of course I can Robbie. I, Lucy Goodwill promise to forever be your friend".

She placed her other hand on her opposite shoulder.

" You've said that before. I remember now. You vowed to be my friend right here in Lazy Town. I asked you to be my friend and that's exactly what you told me. You did that pledge thing too."

" I know. I took an a oath and I broke it. I probably broke your heart didn't I?"

"You? Break my heart? That's a laugh. You didn't break anything. If you've really been my friend this whole time then...you- you- you've kept your promise...to me."

Oh brother! Was he really just going to let this go? She just shows up after 30 years and she's just welcomed with open arms. This is ridiculous. Robbie is supposed to be bitter and brokenhearted.

"You know what Robbie? I was your friend even before you asked me to be".

" Oh stop it. You're making me blush. You know I Hate to change the subject but You were always so smart. You were the smartest girl in the whole school. You were the smartest girl in all of a Lazy Town. You were the smartest person I knew in Lazy Town. I've always wondered what made you so-so-so smart. Seriously how did you get to be so smart Lucy?"

" I already told you, I grew up".

"Yes I know I can see that. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out_._ I've grown too if...you've noticed. Look I don't want to play guessing games. I don't like to play games in general. Just tell me."

"Alright. I was just always a little faster then most I suppose, faster at learning that is. Everybody else was in the process of growing up. The truth is I was already grown up before i met you. I was pretty much on my own most of the time. There weren't any heroes around to save me. There weren't any knights in shining armor to come to my rescue. It was just me and my wits. I had to get smart pretty quickly. I had no choice. I had to use my head in order to survive. I'm sorry i must be boring you".

"You? Bore Me? No, no, don't be ridiculous. Trust me you'd know if I was bored. Oh believe me I'd let you know. I'm very vocal. I'm kind of funny that way".

" Kind of funny? You are funny, you always have been and I mean that in a good way".

" Oh I can be quite serious. I have a serious side. If you give me a chance I might suprise you."

Sometimes such moments as these i wish I could close my eyes. I wished I could I could cover my ears and shut out the world. I've been shut out from the world most of my life but now I'm alive, im finding it harder and harder to separate myself from the world. I part of me wants to return to my former state but fortunately for me I cannot return. I am bound to this new state of being. It's all Robbie's doing. I owe him my life since it was he who gave me life. Why was he trying to woo her? Was he just trying to impress her? If so what the point of impressing her? Robbie I admit can be very charming when he wants to be but he is by no means a sensuous being. He was sensuous in the sense that he lived life as fully as possible but he was not at all a provocative individual. He was a passionate person and he could be somewhat alluring at times but surely he wasn't sexy. Being sexy was not in his nature. So why on earth was he trying to be something he wasn't? How i wish I could sleep then I wouldn't have to watch these two make fools of themselves.

" You don't have to suprise me Robbie because I know you. I know you can do anything you put your mind to. You can be anyone you wish to be. Afterall You are the Master of Disguise."

Lucy softly complimented him.

" Oh I am the master of many things at least I used to be. Now I'm just - I'm just a has- been".

"Oh Robbie, Why would you think that? Look at me, Robbie you are not a has- been and you never will be".

Lucy's voice was tender with confident concern.

Robbie crossed his arms in protest and he jutted ou his chin in defiance.

" Oh yes I am. Nobody knows who I am anymore. I'm just a- just a big- big nobody that's what I am. I mean who do you know that's actually heard of me?"

"I've heard of you, Robbie". Lucy sounded so small and tragic.

" Well of course you've heard of me. You _know _me but the rest of the world they don't know me".

" Do you honestly care about what the rest of the world thinks of you Robbie?"

" Yes of course I do. Well...um...er...no not really to tell you the truth".

" Then what are you so worried about? Robbie you're not just some big nobody. You are somebody. Most importantly you're somebody to me. You may not be making any headlines at the moment that doesn't mean you're a has- been. It just means you're taking a little break from the spotlight. Celebrities do it all the time."

" They do? All the time? Really?"

"Mhmmm, all the time".

" And did you say that I'm actully a celebrity?"

" I suppose in a way I did. I was implying it. Are you alright Robbie?"

Robbie's usually fair complexion went from fair to pure ivory, from ivory to a deep mauve. He was obviously pleased at this new discovery. The thought of being a celebrity absolutely delighted him. Robbie smoothed out his waist coat and smugly chuckled. Then he remembered he had a guest.

" What? Oh yes I'm fine. Infact I've never felt better. Afterall I am famous. Yes I am Famous! You know mother would be so

proud".

" She most certainly would be. I remember she always took pride in whatever you were doing. I don't think you could have ever disappointed her. She loved you too much".

" Well that's the perks of being an only child. However I believe I disappointed her plenty of times?'

" How? You were always so perfect". she laughed incredulously

" Perfect?! You were the perfect one if I remember. You with all your straight A's and big words. You were every teacher's pet. Every teacher's dream. I wasn't perfect. For instance Mother wanted me to be a Lawyer. I remember she had my whole life planned out for me. She planned to send me to Harvard but...I knew that meant I would have to go far far away and leave Lazy Town...forever and I didn't want that, no siree, I didn't want to do that at all... so naturally I stayed here. Then of course that was a great disappointment to her but sometimes that's just the way the cake crumbles".

"Oh Robbie you're not a disappointment to anybody especially to her Your mother I know for a fact was your biggest fan. When last I left you were the epitome of popularity".

" I was what?!" Robbie squawked back at her.

" You were quite the popular guy. You were the class president, you got all the leading roles in drama, you part of the debate team and you even a member of tge chess club".

" Whoa! There Lucy! That chess club thing was- was for- for a limited time only. I sound like a commercial, never mind that. That debate team was just a passing fad. Anyhow it was my mother's idea. 'Oh Robbie you are so smart.Why don't you join the chess club?Come on Roberto make mama proud"my mother told me.

I _told __her _I didn't like it. Infact I hated it. So I joined the Glee club instead.Why do I get the feeling you are somehow unhappy with me?"

Indeed her whole body language had changed. She was no longer facing him, her arms were crossed and she was leaning forward slightly, putting her in a slouched position.

" I was afraid of this. I hurt you didn't I?"

Robbie's unusual grey eyes darkened to a somber shade of blue.

Robbie looked like a bashful little boy.

" Oh, no it wasn't like that. It wasn't you. I'm not unhappy with you I'm unhappy with myself. You see my Mom and I, we moved around alot. It's like we were running from something. It wasn't like anything. We were running from something most likely from someone. I could see it in her eyes that hint of fear. I knew something wasn't quite right. I knew something was wrong. I knew this constant moving thing wasn't normal. maybe it was my fault. She was a single Mom, so she was always working it seemed. I wasn't bitter towards her, I'm not bitter at all with her, even now. I knew she loved me and she didn't have much choice but to leave me with friends and relatives, so she could go find work. So my mother came home one night, I remember it was really late at night, she came to my bedroom and told me we would have to move again. I wasn't happy about it besides being angry i was absolutely heart broken. I knew I would have to tell you and I knew it was going to be hard. What i mean to say.is I'm sorry i didn't say goodbye".

Oh brother. She was in tears by the last sentence. She almost let out a sob but then she choked it back so all was heard was uneven gasped. Robbie's expression was one of complete cluelessness.

" What are you talking about?"

"Haven't you been listening to a word I've been saying?"

" Yes of course I've been listening. I've been here _here_ the whole time. I haven't gone anywhere. I've been right here in front of you the whole time." his baritone voice became thin, forced and hoarse.

"Then you know that in left you. I didn't even give you an explanation, I just left. I didn't even have the courage to tell you in person. Real friends don't do that. Real Friends-"

" Real Friends leave a note

I know".

"Then you're not angry with me?'

" No not in the slightest.You left me a explanation in the box. That orange one with the little dancer inside. Once I saw that music box, I knew that you had already gone. Here I even kept the note".

They were talking about me. They were talking about my box. Did that mean I actully belonged to Lucy at one time? I saw Robbie take out a small folded piece of paper that definitely looked like it had seen better days. He cleared his throat, carefully unfolded the piece and began to read the letter out loud.


	9. Secrets

"Dear Robbie,I regret to inform that I am leaving. I really wanted to tell you but I just didn't quite know how. I didn't have the heart to tell you. I'm telling you now, my mother told me we had to move, I don't know why we have to move but maybe she'll tell me one day. You have no idea how sorry I am. Words cannot express the heartache and anguish I feel inside. I love Lazy Town and I wish i could stay here forever. I suppose I could run away, make my way back here and live with you but that would be wrong. I can't abandon my mother now. I know I must do the right thing. The right thing is follow her and not stray behind. I wish I could have said goodbye to you in person. I wish I could have been your friend forever. Maybe in the future I will be able so see you again. I still am your friend.I can't stop being your friend. I will be your friend for all eternity Goodbye Robbie Goodbye."

Robbie sighed and scratched his head.

" I didn't know you were over sentimental".

" I'm not! I seriously wish you would stop using such big words on me! I am _not _a dictionary

I didn't join the Lazy Town spelling Bee! Look I know you're smart and I'm glad you're smart but it's really starting to drive me crazy! Just speak regular english not the Queen's okay?!"

"Would it help if I explained to you as I go along?"

"_Well_...yes I suppose it would help".

" Good. So...I take it you kept the box as well?"

" Of course. What did you think I'd do with it?!"

"Well, to be honest I expected you to have thrown it away by now".

" Throw it away? As in throw it away the garbage?"

" Mhmmm".

" Oh that's not my style. I'm a collector not a garbage man".

"I know Robbie but you had every right to be angry".

" Whoa, whoa, whoa! I _already _said i wasn't angry with you".

"I know, I know. I just didn't know how you'd react with my departure- excuse me , my leaving Lazy Town. I thought-"

" You thought _this_, you thought _that. _You see that's your trouble Lucy, you think too much. Why don't you just relax. I mean seriously all this thinking is giving me a headache".

Robbie plucked out a monogrammed handkerchief from his waist coat pocket and handed it to her to use.

"I'm sorry for the water works.I don't know what came over me. I'm usually so composed. Honestly I'm a equable person. I'm not a over emotional individual".

"Look Lucy would you stop worrying. There is no need to explain and you _do not _need to be sorry. I may be a villain but that doesn't mean I have I grudge against everybody. Geesh!"

" I see you haven't lost your sense of humor yet have you?"

"No, absolutely not. If it weren't for my fine sense of humor I certainly wouldn't be here today. When you're in my line of business you uh...learn to to regret nothing. You laugh about it and then you move on".

"You didn't seem to be laughing about Sportacus".

" Are you kidding me? I laugh about him all the time. When I was in high school that guy was the laughing stock of the whole

town. He's the only kid that showed up for P.E. He was always stuck in a corner somewhere doing one armed push ups but that wasn't all he did. Oh no, he didn't stop there.

During recess he would go running about in some unused field and do jumping and play soccer. He played soccer by himself. We didn't even have a soccer team. We had a running track and he was the only one that used it. I mean come on the guy was alone so much it was ridiculous. It wasn't just ridiculous it was hilarious. No, it wasn't just hilarious it was absolutely tragic. The guy had no social life whatsoever, his social status was non existant. Followers: Zero.

For him everyday was opposite day. Anything that was remotely popular he had turn around and do the exact opposite. It was all so maddening but of course I kept my cool...at least most the time. I mean it wasn't as if I didn't include him. I tried to a couple of times...to include him. I'm not a snob afterall. I invited him to a few parties. He even came over for dinner once".

" Really? How did that go?"

"Not very well. It was the most awkward experience in my life. It was so awkward it was painful. It wasn't just the silence that was awkward it was the whole atmosphere. Just thinking about it gets me all tensed up. It's in times like those that you truely know who is for you and who is against you. Let me tell you from the very first moment he arrived to Lazy Town he has always been against me".

" You don't know that. If I remember correctly there was a time when you were shy,awkward and didn't make friends so easily".

" Since when did I ever have friends?"

" When last I left you were practically surrounded by friends."

" Oh you mean those friends. Well I don't see them anywhere around here do you?

Unless of course they are hiding from me. Maybe I should look for them".

Robbie pretended to search through his lair.

" That's not funny Robbie".

"What?! It was just a joke. Okay, I get it, not funny. Look I was actually being serious. I was simply trying to prove my point. I mean, sure, I had my followers and long list of admirers. I had a couple of people pat me on the back and say" What's up? Good Going Rob my man! You Rock. You are on Fire Today. Looking Good bro!"

'Then they'd walk away and that was that".

" What about your female entourage?"

"My what?!"

" All those followers of yours that happened to be girls".

" Oh you mean the girls. Girls _right. _Got ya. What about them?"

"Well did you fancy any of them?"

" Me? Fancy them? No not really. I wasn't much of a girl fancier. Not that I didn't like girls. Its just I was busy... very very busy- busy- busy-"

"Being Robbie right?"

" Yes exactly. You read my mind. I had my studies and my what do you call it- entourage and my image to think of. There was alot going on okay. As I was saying I just didn't have the time- the time to- to-go out with girls. Even if I _did _have the time, dating just wasn't my thing."

"So you mean to say you didn't have any crushes?"

" No,not really. _Well_ maybe a few but that's ancient history. I'm- I'm - I'm sure you don't want to hear about that. You wouldn't be interested in all that stuff".

" Oh I'm very interested. if I wasn't I would not have asked. Besides it's not that ancient".

Robbie smoothed out his already immaculate hair and gulped.

"Erm it's ancient enough. Anyway that's all in the past and it's all behind us. Let's not talk about me let's- let's talk about- about you. Just what have you been doing with your life...lately."

"Currently I'm a child psychologist. I don't have my PhD yet so I'm in the process of working that right now. I'm not truely a child psychologist yet I'm what one calls a mental health counselor at the moment. I really want to be taken seriously and I want to advance my career in the field. You see if I get my PhD I might get offered a better position, a higher one if possible. When I'm not studying I volunteer at the humane society and sometimes even at Salvation Army

I like to help people as well as animals.

I just have this desire to help not just children but everyone. It's hard

to explain."

"What? Because I'm a villain?"

She laughed at this and awnsered" No it's hard because I wasn't born to be good".

"

Robbie scratched his head and squinted in perplexion.

"What do you mean you weren't born to be good?"

"It's complicated".She turned from him and grabbed ahold of the blue bar in front of her

" I'm listening".

Robbie crossed his arms expectantly.

"It's kind of a family secret".

"Ooh I love secrets. I mean erm...I can keep a secret. I don't have very many friends besides you. Lazy Town isn't what it used to be. I remember the day when Lazy Town was absolutely brimming with people. Now it's practically a ghost town. So there's really no one left to tell. I'm kind of private person anyway".

" You're also a very honest person

but...I suppose there's no harm in telling you. You are my best friend after all and-"

" And you trust me right?"

Robbie interjected her with a eager grin. Lucy hardened her soft featured face and looked at him straight on.

" Yes to be honest I do. The truth is when I was growing up everybody expected me to be a villain".

" Well I wouldn't mind if you did."

Robbie remarked with a rather goofy smirk.

" Sorry. Did I say that out loud? How silly of me! What can I say? Me and my big mouth. You were saying".

" Perhaps its al slight exaggeration to say everybody expected that of me. When I say everybody I mean nearly everybody in the family. There were I'm sure a few within the family that thought otherwise. For instance my mother never expected me to be a bad girl; at least she never encouraged me up front. Everyone else acted as if they had some sixth sense when it came to my future. No one was quite as certain as the adults in my family, my aunts and my uncles you know. They thought for sure I'd become a criminal.

I can still hear my aunt Petronella ramble on about me. " Mark my words, she's a bad egg. You can just tell by the look of her. Nothing good will ever come of that child. Law breaking is in her blood. Now I don't blame the mother. No doubt she's the victim in all this. Honestly it wasn't her fault that the father didn't stick around. Regardless that child was born into sin.

Oh I'm not talking about legitimacy. Its beyond that. That child simply born for sin. She'll grow to be a regular villain. It would have been better for her father

to raise her. She's really too much for the poor woman." My aunt would say about me. I honestly don't know how we were related. I doubt if she was even my aunt. We had all these relatives that we would stay with, so to avoid confusion they were all referred to as aunts, uncles and cousins. Unfortunately my cousins grew up hearing all this nonsense about me being a bad egg. I was actually a obedient child. I was quiet, I kept to myself and I stayed out of trouble. Mother knew this but the rest of my relatives were not convinced of my innocence. What's worse is they didn't even know me and they didn't even care to get to know me. It was all because my father was a villain. He was meant to be a secret not just to the rest of the world but from the rest of the family. Somehow the family found out."

" Was your father- was he any good at being a villain?"

" There was nothing good about him but as far as villains go I suppose he did rather well for himself. He had quite the reputation, a bad reputation. Bad isn't quite the word I'd use for him

He was beyond bad, he was evil. There was a time he was in hiding. He was always hiding. Hiding from me, the police, my mother, hiding from everybody. Every once and awhile he'd come out of the shadows and visit me. He wasn't at all like you, you have a heart, he didn't have one at all. You see he wasn't your run of the mill villain, he was a actual criminal. His face was on wanted posters. The FBI had him on their list. Nearly every police station were on alert, keeping their eyes out for him. Nobody ever found him

A few came pretty close to capturing him but he was a master at escaping. He must have always been running, running from his past running from his responsibilities, from his family, running from everything in his life. I can't imagine why anyone would want to live that way, constantly running and never staying in one place for too long."

" Sounds like Sportacus all over again and it sounds exhausting. I'm just not that kind of villain. I don't ever run unless it's absolute necessary. _So_ does this villain have a name or is that a secret as well?"

" Yes he has a name. I don't know if I'm quite ready to tell you that yet".

" Oh come on! Who am I going to tell? Milford? Bessie. Besides the Mayor is losing his memory these days and Bessie is the worst gossiper in the world. Milford couldn't keep a secret to save his life and Bessie has one of the loosest tongues in Town. Bessie has enough gossip floating around her head to start a gossip column. I don't even talk to them anymore. Why Bother?! There'd be nothing to talk about because nothing ever happens here. So you can tell me. You're secret is safe with me really".

" Robbie, I'll tell you when I'm ready Okay?"

Lucy's passive voice became very stern,firm, sure and steady.

Robbie sneered slightly in response but he didn't argue with her. Instead he gathered up her suitcases that were scattered about the room

He insisted on carrying each one all by himself to her room. I wish I had a room instead of this stupid box. I wish there was a place for me to stay. Even now he thinks I'm just a figment of his imagination but I'm real and most importantly I'm alive. How will he ever know? How will I prove to him that I'm alive? I must reach him somehow. I am not a toy. I am not plaything. I am not a girl. I am a woman. He will hear my voice and he will know my heart as I know his. One day he will love me. He will hate her. He will be disgusted with her. I will insure this. When he finally wakes up he will adore me and he recognize my devotion and loyalty. What loyalty has she ever shown to him? What devotion has she ever had for him? I deserve to be alive and I deserve to be real. One day i will be real forever. One day I won't be just real I will be human. If only I could wish my way out of this. Wait maybe I can. The Genie can help. He can't serve Robbie but he can serve me. The next time he summons me i will look for the lamp. But what if he never summons me?


	10. Distractions

" Hello Robbie".

I slunk up behind him while he was still in his chair.

Robbie grasped onto the armrests mightily in his shock.

" Oh it's you. For a moment I thought you were- oh never mind. Where on earth have you been? Out dancing again?"

" No I haven't gone anywhere. I've been right here the whole time. I've been keeping an eye on you."

"You mean you've been watching me?!" Robbie shrieked, tore off his blankets and squirmed fiercely out of his chair.

" Oh you make it sound as if it's a bad thing. I haven't just been watching you, I've been watching over you. There's a big difference. Besides I've always looked out for you and I always will".

"Well...there's no need to bother. I don't need anybody to look out for me. I certainly don't need anybody's help especially yours".

" Of course you don't. You're far too independent. Besides who said I was helping?"

" Dont try to confuse me.If you've been here the_ whole _time why haven't seen you and _why _haven't I heard from you?"

" You see me now and you hear me now. What matters is I'm here with you at this very moment.

I'm real, I'm alive and I can be here forever if you wished".

I placed my hands in his.

"No you can't be!

You're nothing but a toy. Oh leave me alone!"

" You can't mean that".

" Oh yes I can. I mean it! Now go away!"

"Where shall I go?"

"Someplace else. Go back to your box. Go to Timbuktu for all I care! Just as long as you leave me alone."

"So I can go wherever I like?" I smiled at this.

"Yes wherever your heart desires now beat it!"

" I wish I had that in writing but I will take you at your word but no Robbie I don't think I'm going to leave just yet. You didn't think you could get rid of me that easily did you? Besides I think you'd much prefer that I stayed am I right?"

" I'd much prefer to be left alone".

Robbie pulled the blankets over his face and moaned.

" Yes I've noticed you do so much better on your own Robbie. Why when you're alone you are at your strongest. You are at your absolute best when you're alone. You are far stronger and more powerful when you're on your own. Lonliness suits you so well".

"Powerful? I'm powerful?"

Robbie curled the blankets down from his face and gulped slightly on the words.

"Of course Robbie. You're even more powerful than Sportacus".

"I am? Why of course I am. Wait. How can that be? Sportacus is so strong and muscular and I'm kind of on the whimpy side. As far as muscles go they're too puny to be of any use."

" Strength isn't about muscle. Strength is about power. Strength is what's inside of you. You have your mind, you have your magic, and you have your freedom.

You are free from all the things that bound Sportacus in chains. He's a slave to exercise. You are a slave to no one. You have so many other advantages over that blue clown. You are taller, you are far better looking, far better dressed and you have powers far superior his own. You know this. You had the power to bring me to life. Can Sportacus bring things to life?"

" No, you're right he can't. You know me so _well_. Oh I suppose you can stay but don't make too much noise. Lucy is sleeping."

" Oh I won't. I can be quiet don't you worry. How do you know she's sleeping. She could be wide awake and you would never know. Think about it Robbie, she's in a strange new environment, in strange place she's never been before don't you think she'd have a little trouble getting to sleep?"

"Ughh! Who cares?!"

" You should care. You're the one who wanted her here. Afterall weren't you the one who wanted more than anything to insure her stay here to be as comfortable as possible?"

" Yes alright alright Yes it was I Robbie Rotten. Why do you care? She's not your guest, She's mine and nobody else's. I'm not about to barge into her room just to check and see if she's still sleeping. What if she's actually asleep? What if I wake her up? Honestly I'm not that weird.

"I wasn't suggesting you barge into anywhere especially into her room. So it's her room now is it?"

" Well technically its mine. Yes it is my room and I'm just letting her use it. It's just for a few nights. It's not like it will be forever".

I knew his heart. Forever was a word he used when he was particularly passionate about something. If she chose to stay forever he wouldn't argue. She'd never stay forever anyway. She was the restless type. How did he know she would only a few nights? He had already decided that he was going to let her stay as long as she wanted to. Whatever she wished he would be sure to grant it for her. Why doesn't he stand up to her? This _isn't _her house, it's his.

" Forever is a long time. I highly doubt she will stay forever. She has a job, she has a life of her own and im sure she has certain responsibilities. She is the sensible type, the type that always does what's right. You must remember and never forget that this is is your house.This is your lair and this lair belongs to you and nobody else. Nobody can take it from you".

" Meaning what exactly?"

" Meaning you're in charge."

" In charge of what?"

" In charge of everything. You've always been your own boss. This is no different. Be that boss. Show her how how well you manage on your own. Show her your strength. Prove to her that your not some sissy that lives in a cave"

" Hey! I'm no sissy and I do not live in a cave. I live in a underground batchelor pad."

" Good. Then you're not afraid of anything are you?"

" I fear nothing!" Robbie roared.

" Excellent. You have a job to do Robbie and that's to make her comfortable. So you go right up to that door ever since quietly and stealthily of course and you check on her. If she's asleep she won't even know you were there. If she's awake you know how handle her. You have history together. She probably be happy to see you anyway. Remember you regret nothing, you fear nothing. You are the strongest villain in your lair. Be the villain of your dreams".

" You're right. I am the strongest and fastest and the greatest villain in all my lair. I'm going. I'll just check up on her real quick, I'll open the door, look in then run back here. Well I won't be running but I'll hurry you know. Finally when I'm all done I can go back to sleep in peace right?"

" Correct. You really are so clever Robbie. I'm sure you'll make best host ever".

I assured him but I didn't really mean it.

" I'm not just the boss I'm the host as well. I am so cool! Yes I am genius. Okay, okay I'm going, I'm going. Don't go away."

I wouldn't be going anywhere at least not yet. I could feel the magic within me grow. Now I could go anywhere I wanted. Silly Robbie,the only reason I told him to go check on that girl was so I could search for the lamp. It is no ordinary lamp as you probably already know. It is a magic lamp with a genie inside. That genie is the key to my mortality. I don't want to be immortal. Even Robbie isn't immortal. He may be invincible but he can't live forever. I want to live as he does. I want to live and breathe, sweat,cry, and bleed like a human does. I want to have a actual heartbeat. O didn't have much time. The magic that brought me to life in the first would soon expire. Though Robbie's magic is powerful, Robbie did not comprehend the magnitude of such power. He didn't know how to properly wield it , so the magic would wear off every night. I had to find that lamp before the magic ran out. If he had the power to grant me life he had the power to grant me mortality if he wished but he didn't have the training. I could persuade him and could appeal to his ego quite well but even if he had all the confidence in the world he still would lack control. I could teach him to use his powers but I lacked the training as well. All these options took too much time. Time was not something that was on my side at the moment. I needed to find that lamp before he returned. Robbie was very easily distracted so maybe I had 15 minutes, maybe 30 is I was lucky. If I was a magic lamp where would I be?

That tactic isn't going to work. If I were Robbie where would I put it?

I'd stuff it in a drawer, throw it in a closet, shove it in a vault. I would put it somewhere I wouldn't trip on it. Someplace out of sight. Sportacus had it at one point. Could he have taken it with him? No,if Sportacus had a magic lamp he would have given it away. He would have given it to one of those meddlesome children. If that was the case then that meant I was wasting my time looking for it in here. Any one of those kids could have taken it with them when they left Lazy Town.

They would have used all the wishes by now. It could be in a pawn shop by now. It could be anywhere by now. Calm Down Rottenella. There is a possibility that the lamp was left behind. I still couldn't find it. I already looked in a few drawers. The blue vault of his was no doubt stuffed to the gills. Anyone of his closest are probably piled high with all his junk. I didn't have time for this. The lamp was most likely on the surface.

How was I supposed to get to the surface? Robbie said I could so I shall. He said I could go anywhere. Maybe the magic would last a little longer.

I was a cunning little creature and I would find a way of sneaking out Meanwhile Robbie was coming.

He would be returning any moment now.

Tomorrow night I would go for a stroll, a night stroll outside. He could come if he liked. However if he follows me I will have to distract him again. Lucy is a excellent distraction. How can use her to my advantage? I'll just tell I heard her calling out to him and then he'll go running to her side for sure. Things maybe looking up afterall. Things maybe finally going my way.


	11. Cooking by the Book

" So I see you haven't dyed

your hair yet".

Robbie remarked at the breakfast table rather glumly. Apparently he has this long stainless steel table that had been hiding out somewhere this whole time in his massive underground lair.

" I know I said I would. It was something I always dreamed of doing but then I grew up. Now that I've grown up I dream of other things, more important things. Why do you think I should change it?"

Lucy swept her shoulder length hair from out her face.

" Oh no. Don't change it! I mean there's no need to change. I like it just the way it is. It suits you. It's- Its already perfect, the color, the style, everything. It's perfect. Afterall its awfully hard to improve on perfection".

Robbie never looked more ridiculous. It was absolutely sickening to watch him compliment this girl. His cheeks were bright pink and his eyes were all aglow with glee.

" Thank you. I always used to hate my hair when I was growing up especially when I was a teenager. I often wondered why I wasn't blessed with a simple shade of brown or a nice solid shade of black just like yours. I suppose I've come to terms with it now. I've accepted it now. I am who I am and nothing can change that".

"So you're saying purple isn't exactly your favorite color?"

" No I've always preferred red, orange and certain shades of blue. How about you?"

" Oh you'd probably cringe if I told you.Better yet you'd probably burst out laughing".

" I won't laugh I promise".

"Okay then my favorite color is...is purple".

Robbie scrunched up his nose and twisted his mouth into a wretched grimace.

Nearly half of his teeth were exposed through his contorted expression of anticipatory dread.

" Purple is a lovely color on you. It suits you well, maroon especially. I like maroon on you. Infact it is the perfect color for you."

Robbie relaxed somewhat but his eyes however dilated in astonishment

Robbie decided to change the subject.

" You know come to think of it, I remember now how much you used to fuss over your hair".

"Really? What about you? If I remember Correctly you were just as fussy as I was"

"Hey, I wasn't always that fussy! There was a time believe it or not that I wasn't so concerned about my sense of style. As I was saying. You were always fussing with that hair of yours. At one point you were pretty upset about. I _mean _really upset. You were practically in tears".

"Oh really. Just what did you do about it?"

She smiled a small secretive smile.

" What did you think I did? Send you away? Tell you to scram?"

"So I came to you?"

"No I came to you but that matters very little right now. No, I told you to calm down".

" That's it? That's all you did?"

" No, of course not. I told you to calm down and brushed all the tangles out and I made everything all better again. This is when I was nice. It was a very long time ago so I don't quite remember exactly what it was that I said to you. I just remember you were planning to cut your hair really short. When I walked in you had the scissors out and you were just about ready to chop it all off. You told me that you're mother wouldn't notice because she didn't care. Of course I argued you with you and eventually I won but you didn't stop there. Oh no! You claimed you were going to shave off all your hair which I suppose is pretty hilarious but at the time I wasn't laughing. Shockingly enough I was actually being serious, I wasn't being a total clown like I usually am. You spouted off how you were going run away with the circus, dye your hair red and of course change your name to Lady Folly, Flo for short. It was so cute, sad but cute.

Anyway I told you that I'd help you pack and we run away together. I said I'd come with you.You asked me with these big green eyes" Will you really?"

I of course charmingly replied yes. Then I had you put the scissors down and I looked for a place to hide them. Okay to tell you the truth I just threw them aside someplace you couldn't see them. I told you my mother would kill me if I did any of those things to my hair but you were like"Oh Robbie, oh no, that's so different. You have the perfect mother and the perfect life." Then you continued on and on about how I couldn't possibly know what you were going through. Somehow I reasoned with you, yes somehow I convinced you that your mother actually cared for you. I really don't know why I bothered".

" Then you told me to do the right thing".

" No not exactly. You figured out the rest on your own. Then you ended up staying home and not running off with the circus like you and the problem was solved, end of story".

" No I remember now. I never could have figured out what the right thing was all on my own. You told me i was special and that I was one of a kind. You didn't want me to change anything because you claimed you loved me just the way I was."

"Oh come on. I was going to skip that part. I was just trying to spare you from all that tender loving mushy stuff. I mean it's embarrassing. If anyone out there gets ahold of that story, my reputation as a villain could be ruined!"

He flapped his hands in frustration and then rubbed his forehead vigorously.

"Don't worry I'm not going to ruin your reputation. I'm a good girl remember".

"Well even good girls can get into trouble. One can never be too careful".

"I promise you that I won't make trouble for you. Even if I wasn't a good girl I would never divulge that kind of information to anyone. Consider that story a secret. Better yet consider our friendship a secret."

Lucy wrapped her childlike porcelain fingers around Robbie's fist.

" So of you were a bad egg would you still be on my side?"

" Oh yes definitely. I would certainly be here to support you Robbie".

" If you had gone bad would you still be my friend?"

" I dont know Robbie. It's hard to say what I'd do if I had gone bad. I'd be a completely different person. You most likely would be on my mind and I would never forget you".

"What if you were my competitor or worse yet my enemy?"

"I'd never be your enemy Robbie".

" If you were a different person would you

still come to visit me?"

"Yes of course Robbie. I would have come regardless of how much I'd changed."

" I wonder what would have happened if you had never met me?"

" I wouldn't want to even imagine what life would be like if I hadn't met you".

" Why not?What would your life be without me?"

" It would be terrible. I would have been a horrible experience at least for me it would have. I didn't have a single friend in the world until i met you. I needed your friendship and I still do to this day".

" Well I didn't have any friends before you came along either. Infact to tell you the truth I never had any real friends All those people you saw me with were just people, people I had known for only five seconds. They were just acquaintances. We weren't even one first name basis. I mean we were sort of but mostly we called eachother by little nicknames like bro, dude and hey man. Maybe on occasion they called me Rob. It was all very impersonal. Anyway my point is you were my only real friend in the universe".

"In the universe? I thought you were the guy that had everything".

" I thought so too at least I used to. Now I'm not so sure. I think I may be missing a few things".

"You had the good looks, the brains to match and the great hair. You had the best mother in the whole world and your family had this incredible history. You came from one of most prominent families in all of Lazy Town. Your mother always said so. Roberto comes from the best stock she'd always tell me. Then you had this incomparable charm. You always had this way with people whenever you were near a crowd or a large group of people you had this magic with them."

" Oh now stop right there. I never had a way with people. I hated all people in general. I mean I hated most of them, the people...almost everyone. Okay, okay I hated a few of them. Anyway my point is I wasn't quite as social as you might think.

True I was charming and I had the looks of a dictator. I mean I could have been a politician if I wanted to. Mother said so but I didn't want to. It was all just one big scheme. School was tough especially when your bad as I am. I mean come on let's face it, I had lousy grades for practically my whole life and the only thing I really excelled at was acting. I really shined in drama class. I was a absolute natural. I was th star pupil, mostly I was just a star.

So you see whenever I was around people I just put on a whole act. All did was play pretend okay. I pretended that i was this super confident super social public figure. i acted like i was famous and everybody lapped it up. Yes everybody bought it and you know what they treated me like i was some kind of celebrity. Acting was the only thing I was good at that and also the Glee Club but that's another story."

" Yes you're right I have to admit you were brilliant Robbie".

"Brilliant? Oh believe me I was more than brilliant, I was a genius but as far as English math and history and all that other stuff I was pretty stupid."

"No, you weren't even remotely stupid.You just had a hard time focusing in school. I work with alot of children who have the same trouble. You see everybody has a unique way of learning

Its quite possible that Lazy Town High wasn't the best environment for you to learn in. High school is far from quiet. Its noisy and chaotic and there's just too many distractions. It's just not natural for anyone learn anything in the middle of jungle unless you're a wild animal that can survive those conditions. I don't believe in public school. I support the home taught system."

"A home taught what? Should I be afraid of this or what?"

" No, not at all. It just means I support parents and families that choose to teach their children at home".

" Oh that! of course! how silly of me! Wow. Imagine my mother doing that, teaching me at home. Hmmmm... That certainly would have been interesting scary but definitely interesting."

" She'd probably have been a pro at it

She was a incredible woman. Whatever happened to her Robbie?"

" Oh she died quite awhile ago by natural causes of course. I honestly don't know what you've heard but I had nothing to do with it. Really i didn't kill her like they said. She was already sick before I got there.She had angina with a touch of dementia but don't worry she wasn't completely batty. She was just a tad forgetful. I didn't have the heart to put her in one those fancy homes.She was my mother after all regardless of how scary age was. She had this little villa in Italyville. I told her she could afford as nice little place in Italy but she said she said that was too far away from me and she didn't know a word of Italian, so she said Italyville was close enough. Then she said she wanted to be closer. I asked her how close she wanted to be and she told me she wanted to come to Lazy Town. She said it had always been her home even if she hadn't been born there. So naturally I brought her here and then she passed on shortly after which is sad I know but I'm over it now. She had a good life. There's no use crying over that, crying over her. Crying won't bring her back. Mother used to say the best way to honor the dead was by living well. So that's exactly what I've done. In fact that's exactly what I'm doing now, I'm living well."

" Did she have a good funeral?"

'Oh mother wanted none of that. She specifically told me she didn't want a service of any kind. She didn't want anybody to be sad and teary eyed.

She told me " Son I don't want any glum faces on the day I die.i want you to all go out and have a big party. I want all to be happy and to have the time of your lives."

I didn't feel much like having a party. I was originally going stay home bake a cake and stay up late watching Svengoolie but my plans were spoiled when the mayor planned to give a big party in her honor. He said I didn't have to come but that it would be best if I did. So I went. Everybody was there, the whole town came. Even Sportacus. It was then I figured out he had become super hero and that he grown these big muscles and he was all fit and healthy. The sight made me sick. It was bad enough that my mother had died but to have him of all people come to this lousy party it was all too much. I had heard of Sportacus before I didn't know it was Alex my least favorite person in the whole wide world. He became my enemy that day. Then we all had to tell a funny and inspiring story about how clever and great my mom was when she was alive. He jumped up in front of everyone and started spewing out a bunch of lies about how my mother was the reason for becoming a super hero. She encourages to become healthy and strong. Yuck! It was all so sickening. Mother never encouraged me to be athletic. Why on earth would she encourage him? He was a nobody. Mother was always too hospitable and nice. There's wasn't anyone she was mean to. Why she took such a shine to Alex Zeroman is beyond me. He was a loser. He was short and antisocial and weird. He didn't connect with anybody in Lazy Town.

I came home early from that terrible party turned on the tv and sulked until I fell asleep. I'm not much for excitement. All that peopling quite exhausted me. I had survived one social event and that was enough for me. I didn't leave my lair for a long while after that. The important thing was I didn't become some useless wet mop blubbering over my mother.

I moved on, I carried on with my life as usual and i honored her memory.

Do you like cake?"

"Oh I like cake on certain occasions. I still don't see why you perfer eating it for breakfast".

" Its got your eggs for protein, your milk for calcium and your oil to absorb all that stuff. What more could you want?"

Robbie slammed another bite of cake into his mouth and chewed on that bite with great enthusiasm.

" Oh plenty of things Robbie, plenty of things."

"Really like what for instance?"

Robbie challenged her

" Fruits and veggies and water."

Robbie nearly choked on the cake in his mouth.

" What?!!"

Robbie was now a light shade of blue.

" " You're not seriously saying you live off of that stuff?"

"One cannot live on Cake alone".

" Well I can. Don't you have a favorite breakfast food?"

" Yes I do. Quiche is the perfect breakfast food".

" What the heck is quiche?! Sounds Disgusting!"

"Its made of eggs and a little bit of spinach and it has this flakey buttery crust on the outside."

Robbie made disgusted face.

" Who on earth would want to eat that?!"

" Um.. well I would Robbie. I could show you how to make it if you'd like. It's really quite easy. You can skip the spinach part if you want?"

" You mean it doesn't have to have anything green in it?"

" Of course. There's always endless possibilities when you're cooking We can always put something different in instead".

"Can I put anything in it? Like candy for instance?"

" Why don't we try it the regular way first and see how you like it okay?"

" Alright.Minus the spinach right?"

"Yes minus the spinach Robbie?"

So she showed him how to fix quiche and as usual they forgot all about me.

How soon humans forget.


End file.
